Title:  Flare
Author:  Froxyn
Rating:  FRAO
Pairing:  Buffy/Giles
Synopsis:  Buffy’s temper gets the best of her when Giles states that he should leave Sunnydale.

2  3  4

His head was tilted down, his eyes staring into hers.  His breath quickened, her hands lingering on the lapels of his leather jacket for far too long.  He noticed that the anger had suddenly left her eyes, being replaced by…


His mouth was suddenly dry, a lump forming in his throat.  Surely he was misreading her.  Or maybe it was a simple case of transference.  Seeing his emotions in her eyes, and not her own.  He gasped lightly as her fingers tightly gripped the soft leather.



She stared into his eyes a moment longer before releasing her hold and giving him a slight push backward.  His heart dropped as her eyes cleared of the emotion he had wanted to believe was there, leaving only the glistening of unshed tears.


She diverted her eyes from him before she spoke.  There was no anger in her voice, only resignation. 




His hand trembled slightly as he reached up to wipe a tear that had spilled onto her cheek.  He dropped it slowly as she turned away from him before he could touch her.


“Buffy, I…”


“Don’t.  Just…don’t.  Don’t make this harder than it already is.”  Her back was to him, but he knew she was crying.  “You’re leaving.  And…there is nothing I can do about it.”


He took a deep breath as he took a step forward, almost wishing she was still screaming at him.  His heart crumbled at the thought of his Slayer crying because of something he had said.


He cleared his throat softly, hoping to get the words out before she interrupted him again.


“Buffy, I never said that I was leaving.  I said…”


He inhaled quickly in frustration as she whirled around, the anger back in her blue eyes.  “I heard what you said!  And you sure as hell didn’t say ‘Hey, I think I’ll stay here in Sunnydale for a few more years’, did you?”


He winced as her voice rose.  “Please, calm…”


She took a step forward quickly, a finger pointed at his chest, her eyes dark with rage.  “Don’t you dare say calm down.  I swear, if you say that I will knock you into the next room.”


His eyes narrowed slightly, anger sparking in his green irises.  “Calm down.” 


The words were said deliberately, in defiance of her furious request.  Without thinking, she swung her leg into a quick roundhouse.  Her foot made contact with his sternum, the air rushing from his lungs as he fell through the open doorway behind him.  His head struck the floor with a sickening crack.  He was aware of one last thought before he fell into darkness.


‘She really did knock me into the next room.’


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~


She realized what she had done as soon as it happened.




She ran quickly to his side, wincing at the sound of his head hitting the floor.  “Oh God, Giles!  Open your eyes!  Come on, don’t do this to me!”


She felt for a pulse, exhaling quickly when she found one.  She carefully ran her fingers over his head and down his neck, feeling for any obvious injuries.  She studied her fingers as she pulled them away from his neck. 


“No blood, that’s good.  Giles?”


She placed her hand tenderly on his sternum, a tear falling down her cheek as she felt his chest rise as he inhaled. 


“It doesn’t feel broken or anything.  Come on Giles, wake up.  Please?”


He opened his eyes, quickly shutting them against the bright light filtering into the training room.


“Giles!  Are you okay?”


Hearing the panic in her voice, he re-opened his eyes and grimaced as he pushed himself up.  “I’m fine.”


“Shouldn’t you lay down?  I mean, what if your neck is broken, or your back, or…”


He interrupted her with a soft chuckle, which ended abruptly when he winced and clenched his hand in a tight fist.  “My neck is not broken, Buffy.  Nor is my back.  A rib or two, possibly.  But, I’ll live.”

“Your head.  It cracked…”

“I’m rather sure it was the floor that cracked.  Not my head.”  He lifted his hand and gingerly placed it on the back of his head before holding it out for her to see.  “No blood.  No crack. I’m okay.”

“But…you were…unconscious…”

He placed his hand on his chest, pushing slightly against his sternum to ease the pain.  “Yes, and that’s never happened before.”

Her eyes fell to his hand on his chest.  “I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean…”

He looked up at her, a gentle smile tugging at his lips.  “I know.”

The words were simple, and simply stated.  She met his eyes, hers filled with concern at the way his face showed the pain as he inhaled. 

“We need to get you to the hospital, Giles.”

He nodded slowly.  “Probably.  I’m quite sure that I should see a doctor.”  He registered the worry in her eyes.  “But, I’m okay, Buffy.  I’m going to be just fine.”

She sniffed back a fresh onslaught of tears and slipped her arm around him.  “I’ll help you up.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

He carefully slid into the passenger seat of his car, his ribs firmly taped in place.  He offered his Slayer a smile as she climbed behind the steering wheel.


She turned the ignition, looking at him as the car roared to life.  “Are you in pain?”

His smile widened.  “No, no pain at the moment.  Just…could you not drive as fast this time?”

For the first time in hours, she smiled.  And for the first time in days, she laughed.  It was music to his ears.  His teeth clamped down on his tongue, biting back the words that almost escaped.  He leaned his head back onto the headrest and closed his eyes.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Feeling a hand brush across his left hip, he opened his eyes to find a smiling Buffy leaning over him.  “Hey…”

He glanced around quickly, taking in the surroundings.  “Are we home?”

She nodded as she unbuckled his seatbelt and stepped back to help him out of the car.  “In one piece, even.  My driving must not have scared you…you slept the whole way home.”

“Either that or Loritab is my new best friend.”

Buffy laughed and gently eased him onto his feet.  She kept her arm around his waist as they walked to his front door.  Flipping through the keys on his key ring, she quickly found the one she was looking for and slipped it into the lock. 

She followed him through the door, keeping her arm firmly around him for support.  She got him settled on the couch and took a seat on the coffee table in front of him.

They were quiet for several minutes before she took a deep breath and spoke to him softly.

“Giles, why are you leaving me?”

Slowly, he inhaled deeply and stared at her.  “Buffy, let’s not start this again.  I’m not sure that I can handle another round of getting kicked through a doorway.”

Her eyes glistened as she looked away for a minute.  Turning back to him, she sighed.  “I’m not going to argue with you.  I just want to know why you’re leaving.”

He absently licked his lips and nervously ran a hand through his hair.  “I’m not leaving Buffy.  What I said…well, it was said in haste.  And, I didn’t say I was leaving.  I said that I probably should leave.”  He tilted his head slightly and looked into her eyes.  “There is a difference.”

She wrapped her arms around herself and slowly nodded her head.  “Okay.  But why do you think you should leave?”

He leaned back into the couch, his eyes never leaving hers.  “I…I don’t think we should have this conversation at this moment.”

Her eyes widened, her hands falling to her lap.  “Giles…”

He shook his head quickly, a little too quickly he realized too late.  His hand darted out, grabbing onto the armrest of the sofa to steady himself.  “No, Buffy.  Neither of us are in a position to have a rational conversation.  I’m…well, I’m not exactly sober.  And you…”

He paused, trying to find the right words as his heart pounded in his chest.  “Well, your emotions are running at a slightly elevated level at the moment.”

His eyes narrowed in confusion as she started laughing uncontrollably.  “Slightly elevated?  Try ‘off the scale’, Giles.  You tell me that you’re leaving…”  She shook her head as he tried to interrupt her.  “No, that’s how I heard it then.  I know differently now, but not then.  What am I supposed to do without you here?  Who is going to keep me grounded if you’re gone?”

His lips curled into a half-smile.  “I don’t keep you grounded when I am here, Buffy.”

She stood up quickly.  “Of course you do!  Look at me…I’m grounded Buffy.  Feet firmly planted.  That’s me.”

He chuckled softly.  “That’s not quite what I meant.  You keep yourself grounded.  You have for quite a while now.”  His smile slowly faded, his vision blurring from a thin layer of tears.  “I’m very proud of that fact.”

She sat back down and folded her hands in her lap.  “But, I still need you Giles.  You’re still my Watcher.”

A sad smile played at his lips.  “I haven’t been your Watcher for some time, Buffy.”

“Well, maybe not officially.  But, you still watch over me.  Don’t you?”

He diverted his eyes for a split second and nodded.  “That I do.”

She jumped back up and started pacing across the living room in front of him.  “And…you have the knowledge.”  She gestured towards the bookshelves full of ancient volumes.  “And the books.  And, you speak like ten different languages.  You can translate anything.  I…I have enough trouble with English.  There are times when I don’t even understand you…”

He smiled in spite of himself and reached up, grasping her arm on her next pass.  “Buffy, please sit back down.”

She did as he asked and took a deep breath.  “I don’t understand why you think you should probably leave.”

His eyes closed briefly, the painkillers clearly wearing off.  “Buffy, I can’t talk about this right now.”  He rode the wave of pain coursing through him and then reopened his eyes and looked at her.  “I promise you, we will talk about it.  But, I just…I just can’t right now.  I’m physically unable to have this deep of a conversation.”

He could see when it suddenly clicked in her head as the grimace took over his features and then float away.  “I’m sorry, Giles.”  She rummaged through her bag and pulled out a bottle of pills.  “I stopped on the way home and got your prescription filled.”

He gave her a brief smile.  “That was very kind of you, Buffy.”

She shook two pills out of the bottle and handed them to him.  “I’ll get you some water.”

“Not needed.”  He popped the pills into his mouth and quickly swallowed them.  He looked towards the stairs that led to his bedroom and sighed.  “I think I’ll just lie here.”

She nodded silently and helped him get comfortable before pulling off his shoes and draping a blanket across him.  “Do you…would you like me to stay with you?”

His fingers lightly touched her arm and he offered her a slightly drugged grin.  “I would like that, but it’s completely unnecessary.  I’m sure that you have other things that need to be done.”  He yawned as his hand fell from her arm, struggling to keep his eyes open.  “I doubt I’d be much company anyway.”

She watched him closely as his eyes fluttered before finally closing in sleep.  She sighed heavily and gently ran her fingers through his hair. 

“I’ll stay.”  She quietly whispered.


Chapter Two


He woke up to a mostly dark room.  The only light was the soft flickering of the television in the corner.  He squinted his eyes and slowly pushed himself up.  He stared curiously at the television before turning his head to find Buffy asleep in the chair beside of the couch. 

He smiled as he stood up, taking the blanket that was covering him and placing it across her body.  He shuffled his way to the bathroom, careful to be as quiet as he could so that he wouldn’t wake her.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

She woke suddenly, confused by the blanket covering her.  “Giles?”

She leaned forward, suddenly panicked when she realized that he was gone.  Then she heard the running water in the bathroom and slowly relaxed.  She sat back in the chair and yawned, pulling the blanket tighter around her.

She inhaled deeply, smiling at the distinct scent of Giles wafting around her.  It was a scent that could only be described as ‘Giles’.  She suddenly felt safe and secure, just as she did whenever she was in his presence.

A small smile formed on her lips at that thought.  She wasn’t surprised or shocked, she had known for a few months that her feelings for her Watcher were heading in a different direction.  She sighed wistfully, a sigh that she would expect Giles to question if he had heard it, and snuggled deeper under the blanket. 

Hearing the bathroom door open, she turned her head towards the hallway.  Her heart quickened its pace as he came into view. 

“You okay?”

He halted his movement, clearly startled by her voice.  “I’m sorry, did I wake you?”

She chuckled softly and shook her head.  “No.  I was just dozing.  Are you okay?”

“Hm?  Oh, yes.  I just…”  He motioned towards the bathroom.  “Had to…well…”  His eyes darted towards the television.  “Why is the closed captioning turned on?”

She stood and placed the blanket over the back of the couch.  “I thought that if I turned the volume up I’d wake you, so I read instead.”

“I very much doubt anything would’ve woken me.”

She followed him into the kitchen, leaning against the counter as he poured two glasses of orange juice.  He turned around to find her standing right behind him and smiled as he handed her a glass of juice.

“Thank you for staying.”

She took the glass from him, her fingers brushing over his.  “As if I wouldn’t.”

He cleared his throat and dropped his hand to his side.  “What time is it?”

“A little after 4 am.”

He nodded and finished off his juice, placing the empty glass in the sink.  “Are you hungry?  I can make you something to eat, if you’d like.”

“Giles, I’m here to take care of you, not the other way around.  If I’m hungry, I’m more than capable of putting something together.”  She placed her empty glass next to his.  “Are you hungry?”

He shook his head slowly. 

She slid her arm around him and gently ushered him back towards the couch.  “Okay.  Do you want to go back to sleep?  Do you need more painkillers?”

He sat down and shook his head again.  “No.  And…no.  I think I’ve slept enough and, at the moment, the pain is manageable.”

They were quiet for several moments.  But, it was a comfortable silence.  Comfortable enough that Giles was afraid to say anything at all.  Then he realized that he had to say something.



“The reason I thought, think…that I should leave…”

She stopped him quickly, placing her warm hand on his arm.  “We don’t have to do this right now, Giles.”

He placed his hand over hers, his thumb brushing across the back of her wrist.  “I think we do.”

Buffy sighed nervously and turned so she was facing him.  “I’m not going to like this, am I?”

Giles took a deep breath and ran his hand through his hair.  “Perhaps not.  But, I’m hopeful that you will understand.”

She slowly removed her hand from his arm.  He instantly missed her touch.  “What’s going on, Giles?”

“I, uh…well, I…I have this situation…”  He paused, unsure of what to say next.

She tilted her head slightly.  “Situation?  Is that a code word?”

“No, not exactly.”

“A situation like you’re in trouble with the mafia?  Or the council is sending their guard dogs after you?  Or you’re sick?  You’re not sick, are you?”

His head tilted down, his chin almost touching his chest as a smile appeared on his face.  “No.  No mafia, no guard dogs, no sickness.”

“Okay, so what kind of sitch would make you think that you should leave Sunnydale?”

He almost hesitated in his answer, but knew if he did he’d never get it out.  “The kind of situation that involves a woman.”

“A woman?”  She turned her head from him and inhaled deeply.  “Oh.”

He sensed a wave of disappointment wash over her and quickly turned his eyes towards her.  “Buffy…”

She stood up, ran her fingers through her blond hair.  “No, no…I understand.  You probably have a very nice lady waiting for you back in England.”  She swallowed hard and continued to ramble.  “Of course she’d have to be very nice if she’s still waiting for you.  I mean, you’ve been here for 4 years.  That’s….”  She turned and looked into his eyes for the first time since this conversation started.  “That’s devotion.  You – ”

He quickly interrupted her, a smile glinting in his eyes.  “She’s not in England, Buffy.”

“Oh.”  She began pacing again.  “Oh…she’s in Sunnydale?  I…uh…wow…do I, uh…do I know her?”

Giles nodded as he watched her pace back and forth.  “You do.”

She wrapped her arms around herself as she continued to pace.  “Oh.  So, uh…do you…are you in…”

“Do I love her?”

She said nothing, merely nodded at his question.

“I do.  Very much, I do.”

She turned her back to him, quickly wiping at her eye.  “And, she…she…loves you?”

“Therein lies the situation.”

She made her way to the fireplace and lifted her hand, lightly running her fingers along the frame of a picture on the mantelpiece.  “What does that mean?”

He stood and silently made his way to her.  Standing right behind her, he whispered softly.  “It means…I don’t know if you love me.”

Her hand jerked, knocking the photograph to the floor.  She turned slowly, finding his eyes full of hope and fear.

“Giles?”  Her eyes narrowed in confusion as she stared at him.

He shook his head sadly and took a step back.  “Buffy, I...I’m sorry.”

“Giles...”  She reached out to him as the back of his legs hit the coffee table behind him, missing as he lost his balance and stumbled backwards.  “Giles!”

He groaned as the pain shot through him, the stabbing sensation in his chest taking his breath as he hit the floor.  “Bloody...hell...”

She was at his side in an instant, crouching beside him with her hand on his shoulder.  “Giles, are you okay?”

“Did...you kick me again?”  He asked slowly as his body slumped to the floor. 

She stared at him, shocked as his eyes closed.   A split second later, she had the phone in her hand.  She quickly dialled 9-1-1 as new tears streamed down her face.  “Don’t do this to me, Giles...”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

She found herself pacing back and forth across the hospital waiting room.  It had to be close to 90 degrees, yet she wrapped her arms around herself to fend off the chill in her bones. 

‘Giles has been hurt before.  He’s always come through.  He’ll be okay.  He will.’

She stopped long enough to stare down the empty hall.

‘But, I’ve never been the one to hurt him before.  What if I’ve...’


She turned towards the voice of her best friend.  “Will...”
Seeing her friend’s red, but dry, eyes, Willow gasped.  “No, not...please tell me no...”

Buffy crossed to her quickly, wrapping her arms around Willow.  “He’s not...he’s...”  Buffy sniffed, but no tears fell.  “It’s my fault, Willow.”

“Buffy, no.  Things happen.  I’m sure you tried to protect him.”  She looked up as Xander walked into the waiting room.  “He’s going to be okay, Buffy.  We’ll find the demon who did...”

Buffy stiffened and pulled away from Willow.  She looked down at the ground, unable to meet the eyes of her friends.  “It wasn’t a demon.”

“Vampire?”  Xander asked quietly as he stood tall beside Willow.  “Because, hey...we have the means and the knowledge to take care of a vam...”

Buffy’s quiet admission interrupted him.  “It was me.”

She braved a quick glance at her friends, finding their faces masked with confusion.  “I didn’t mean to...but...I...”

Xander nodded slowly.  “So, you were training and you accidentally...”

Buffy shook her head.  “No, we weren’t training.”  She shivered from the cold that only she could feel and looked back down the hall, wishing that the doctor would come back and tell her something, anything.  “We...we were arguing.”

“So, you hit him?”  Xander asked, not quite believing what Buffy was saying.  “Must’ve been some argument.”

“I kicked him.  I told him that...if he said...I’d knock him into the next room.  I was so angry.  He was so angry.  He said it...and I did it.”  Buffy slumped into the nearest chair, her head in her hands as the tears finally came again.  “I broke two of his ribs...”

Willow and Xander sat down on either side of her.  Xander gently patted her back.  “Ribs heal Buffy.  You got him here quickly, they’ll tape him up, he’ll be good as new.”

Buffy ran her hands through her hair as she sat up.  “That was yesterday afternoon, Xander.  And yes, I did get him here.  And they did tape him up.  But...”

Willow’s eyes widened as she looked at Buffy.  “What happened then?  Why is he back there now?”

“I...he tripped...over the coffee table.  He fell...I tried to catch him.  But...I missed.  I missed him.”  Buffy laid her head on Willow’s shoulder, letting the tears come freely now.  “I should have...I didn’t catch him.”


Chapter Three

Giles opened his eyes, immediately squinting them against the bright light in the room.  “Buffy?”

“Mr. Giles?”

Giles’ brow furrowed at the strange voice.  “You’re not Buffy...”

The doctor chuckled lightly.  “No, Mr. Giles, I’m not.  My name is Dr. Tansten.  Your friend brought you in a couple of hours ago.  Can you tell me what happened?”

Giles licked his dry lips and braved the light, slowly opening his eyes.  “I...tripped over the table.  Fell...hit the floor.”

The doctor nodded.  “Yes.  And it seems that you’ve damaged your ribs even further.  Nearly punctured a lung with your fall.”

“That was suave...”  Giles muttered under his breath.  “Tell the girl you love her, then end up in the hospital.  Good job, Giles.”

“Excuse me?” 

Giles shook his head lightly.  “Nothing, doctor.  Just the musings of a foolish man.”

“Hm, yes.”  The doctor made a quick note in Giles’ chart.  “You have a few people here to see you.”

Giles narrowed his eyes and looked up at the doctor.  “I do?”

Dr. Tansten glanced over at the monitor, a smile playing in his eyes.  “Yes.  Would you like me to send them in?”

Giles took as deep a breath as he possibly could and nodded silently.

The doctor smiled brightly at him and placed the chart into the bracket hanging on the wall.  “Alright, I’ll send a nurse down to retrieve them.”

Giles narrowed his eyes as an image of a golden retriever fetching Buffy popped into his mind.  He looked down at the i.v. needle in the back of his hand and then followed the tubing to the bag hanging on the stand next to his bed.

“What’s in that?”

The doctor followed Giles’ gaze.  “Demerol.  Is it not strong enough for the pain?”

Giles shook his head slowly.  “No, the pain is fine.  Just some strange images…”  He met the doctor’s eyes and smiled lightly.  “All is well.  I would very much like to see my friends, however.”

The doctor chuckled again and exited the room, closing the door behind him.  Giles took the time to try to form the words that he wanted to say to Buffy.  He found that he was having extreme difficulty in the normally minor task of word formation.

“Shouldn’t be this hard.”  He grumbled to himself.

Hearing the click of the door, he turned his head towards the doorway.  A brief smile touched his lips as Willow and Xander walked through the door.  His smile faltered when Buffy followed them into the room.

Willow rushed to his bedside, quickly taking in the fact that he was hooked up to a few monitors and had an i.v. placed in the back of his hand.  “Giles!”

She leaned over and carefully gave him a hug.  “I was so worried that...well, that...”

Giles smiled, soothing her fears.  “I’ll be okay, Willow.  It really isn’t as dire as it seems at the moment.”  He lifted up his hand, showing her the i.v. needle.  “This helps.”

Xander chuckled.  “Obviously whatever they’re giving you is pretty good stuff.  And…maybe next time you’ll think twice about arguing with the Chosen One.”

Buffy bit her lip while Giles softly cleared his throat.  “Yes, well...it wasn’t exactly planned.  My theory was correct though.”

Willow tilted her head slightly as she looked down at him.  “Theory?”

Giles licked his lips, giving Buffy a glance before looking back up at Willow.  “At least I know without a doubt that Buffy will be able to take care of herself when...”

Buffy quickly shook her head and spoke one word.  “No.”

Three pairs of eyes turned towards her, suddenly making her feel even more uncomfortable than she already was.  She stared at Giles, frustration tinting her eyes.  “You’re not.”

Willow and Xander exchanged a look of confusion before casting their eyes back to their friend.  “He’s not...what?”

Buffy refused to divert her gaze from her Watcher.  “Leaving.  He’s not leaving.”

Willow quickly turned back to Giles.  “Leaving?  No, Giles, you can’t leave.  You just...can’t.”

Giles held Buffy’s gaze as he gently patted Willow’s arm.  “Buffy, I really think that I...”

Buffy straightened and walked with purpose closer to his bed.  “That you should go to sleep.  Rest, let the medicine do what it needs to do.  We’ll talk about this later.”

With that, she took a deep breath and strode out of the room.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Buffy re-entered the room less than an hour later to find him resting comfortably.  She combed her fingers lightly through his hair, regretting all of the times she had hurt him.

Her mind ran through all of the snide comments she had directed towards him over the years…as well as the most recent incident.  It was the first time that she had physically hurt him out of anger.  Not only had she hurt him, he was now lying in a hospital bed.  And…that was her fault.

“God, Giles…I’m so sorry.  I really am.”  She whispered softly.  “You probably can’t hear anything I’m saying, but…”

She pulled a chair to his bedside and sat down.  “I need you to know that I never really meant to hurt you.  I was such a brat when I was younger and said, and did, a lot of stupid things.  You always forgave me.  You always stood by me…until I decided I didn’t need you anymore.  And you know what?  That was the stupidest thing I’ve ever done.”

She sighed softly.  “I do need you.  I needed you then, but pushing you away was to prove to you that I didn’t.”

“What a brilliant plan that was, huh?”  She shook her head in frustration. “I don’t want you to leave, Giles.”

She moved her small hand into his larger one and squeezed lightly.  “I do love you, Giles.  I really, really do.  And…I’ll tell you all of this again when you’re awake.  Consider this a practice run, okay?  I’m really not good with relationship things, you know.  But…I want to give us a try.  I’m sure I’ll make all kinds of Buffy-sized mistakes, but…I love you.”

She licked her dry lips and sat back, waiting for Giles to wake up.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Giles woke a few hours later to find Buffy asleep in a chair next to him, her hand resting on the bed next to his.  A sudden rush of emotions – love, sadness, adoration – flooded over him.  Gently, he lifted his hand, allowing his fingers to lightly brush across her skin.

He was intently staring at her hand when she opened her eyes.


He exhaled slowly.  “Buffy, I...I’m so sorry.  I...never should have told you...my true feelings.  It has just made the situation much more...”  He paused, searching for the word.

The word never came as Buffy gently placed her hand on his.  “How long have you known?”

Giles closed his eyes and sighed, wishing he could go back a few days in time.  “Buffy...”

She shook her head, her resolve face firmly in place.  “How long, Giles?”

Opening his eyes, he stared at the ceiling.  “Since the first time I almost lost you.  Far too long.”

“You...didn’t say anything.”

Giles chuckled unhappily.  “You were sixteen.  I was responsible for your well-being.  And...you were with Angel.”

“Would you have told me if I hadn’t been in love with Angel?”

Giles shook his head slowly.  “No.  No, I wouldn’t have.”  He took a deep breath.  “I was put in charge of you.  To teach you.  I was brought here to be your Watcher, not your...”  His eyes closed briefly.  “A Watcher should not have deep emotional feelings about his Slayer.”

Quietness settled over the room for a few minutes.  Each searching for the right words to speak.  Finally, she broke the silence.

“Has it ever happened before?”

“You were my first Slayer, Buffy.”

Buffy leaned forward, her fingers nervously picking at the sheet.  “No, with other Watchers and Slayers.  Has it happened before?”

Giles turned his head and looked into Buffy’s eyes.  “It has.  With most disastrous results.”


He shifted in the bed and turned his eyes towards the ceiling.  “One incident comes to mind immediately.  Peter Toscano – he was a Watcher from 1827 until 1832.  He fell desperately in love with his Slayer, and she with him.  He did his best to protect her.  The problem was she was too focused on him and not the battle at hand.  In the end, they both died.” 

He swallowed the lump in his throat and continued softly.  “I couldn’t bear the thought of losing you because I was too caught up in my emotions to properly protect you.”

“So...”  She exhaled slowly.  “You thought it would be best to leave altogether?  How would you be able to protect me if I’m here and you’re in England?”

“You are very capable of protecting yourself these days, Buffy.  And...it was getting more difficult to hide my true feelings from you.”  He clenched his jaw momentarily.  “I...I saw the fear in your eyes when I...when you realized...”

“That you love me?”  She asked quietly.  She watched him carefully as he nodded silently, his eyes glistening.  “Giles...”

“Buffy, there’s no need...”

She interrupted him quickly.  “You got it wrong, Giles.  All wrong.”  She paused for a few seconds before taking a breath and continuing.  “Yeah, I was afraid, but not because you love me.  Giles, I...I was scared because I...I thought maybe I was wrong…that I heard you wrong.”

His eyes shifted to hers, full of questions.  There were too many questions in his head, so he picked the first one that entered his mind. 


She continued on, her words rambling quickly out of her mouth.  “And then you...you backed away from me.  I saw the...the coffee table.  I tried to catch you, Giles...I tried.  But, I missed...I was so close, but missed you.  You could have punctured your lungs...or...your heart...or...Giles, you could have died.  And I never would’ve been able to...to tell you.”

“Tell me?”  His voice was a mere whisper.

“Giles, I can’t let you leave.  Not now.  Not when I’m just finding out...”  New tears spilled over her eyelids.

“Finding out?”

“I’d almost given up.  For so long, I’ve been looking for a sign.  Any sign.  There were times...I thought I’d see something.  But...then it would disappear.  I thought it was my imagination.”

Giles felt a lump beginning to form in his throat again as he held his tears at bay.  “Buffy...”

“And then you told me that you should probably leave...”

“I was angry, frustrated.  It was becoming too difficult to control.”

“And I lost it.  I broke two of your ribs because you were leaving me.  You...”  She choked back a sob as she continued.  “You were leaving me.”

His fingers tightened around hers.  “I thought I was doing the right thing, Buffy.  I thought it was the only way.”

“The only way?”

“The only way to keep you safe.”  His hand lifted up and his fingers lightly brushed her tears from her face.  “Toscano was unable to keep his Slayer safe because of his feelings.  I want you to be safe.”

Shakily, she stood up and leaned over him slightly.  Her trembling hand wiped away a tear that had rolled down his cheek.  “We...can keep each other safe.”

His heart pounded in his chest as she leaned closer to him, brushing her lips lightly across his.  “Don’t leave me, Giles.”

He kissed her back, a gentle, but not hesitant kiss. 


Chapter Four

Giles watched Buffy sleep, his fingers playing with her blond hair with a smile on his lips.  He thought over the last two months.  His release from the hospital, his recuperation from his injuries, waking up with Buffy beside of him every morning. 

She had practically moved in on the day he came home from the hospital, insisting that she take care of him.  He smiled as he remembered the way she looked after him, nursing him back to health. 

They had kept their budding relationship quiet for a couple of weeks.  Not because they were worried what their friends would think, but because they simply wanted to savour the newness of it themselves.  He sighed softly at the memory of their revelation to the others.

They had been researching a particularly nasty demon that Buffy had encountered the previous night.  He was sitting at his desk, flipping through an ancient volume, when Buffy placed a mug of tea down beside of him.  He looked up to find her smiling at him.  He returned her smile and then gently pulled her down for a tender kiss. 

Her fingers ran through his hair as she returned the kiss, quickly dipping her tongue into his mouth before pulling away slowly.  Her fingers lingered in the soft locks as she stood back up and his hand rested on her hip as they turned towards their friends, shy smiles plastered on both of their faces.

Willow’s eyes had widened at the display.  Xander had silently stared in open-mouthed shock.  Anya had grinned brightly, crossing her arms over her chest, wondering aloud how long Buffy and Giles had been orgasm friends.

Once the initial shock had worn off, Willow had been giddy and embraced the couple.  Anya had stated that the only surprise for her was that it hadn’t happened sooner.  Xander had shaken his head in disbelief and began to pace back and forth across the living room.

When Buffy asked him if he was okay, he stopped pacing and darted his eyes between the two of them.  After a moment, he nodded slowly and stated that he was fine…somewhat shocked and definite that he’d never get the image of her kissing Giles out of his head…and then he had asked her if she was happy.

Giles grinned as he recalled with perfect clarity the next exchange between the two.

“I love him, Xander.  And…this is real.  Very real and very…permanent.  He’s the one.  Just like Anya’s the one for you.”

Xander was quiet for a few seconds and then smiled.  “I get that, I do.  Just…give me a few days to get used to it before you start kissing in front of me again.”

He curled a strand of blond hair around his finger as his mind suddenly turned towards the first time she had seen him aroused. 

It was an innocent enough experience.  She had told him that she loved him and then caressed the side of his face.  His arousal was instantaneous.  A mere touch of her hand was enough.  It had stunned her, even though he had told her that he was quite used to the sensation of being turned on around her.

He had wanted to make love with her that night.  She politely said no.  Not that she didn’t want to, but that she was afraid of hurting him.  His ribs were still mending.  He tried to assure her that he was fine, but she had made up her mind.  Watching her sleep now, he realized that he wanted nothing more than to wake her up and show her that he was completely healed.

That’s not to say that they didn’t know their way around each other’s bodies.  There had been fondling and oral encounters, touch and taste and kissing…but, she had never allowed it to go any further afraid of setting his recuperation back. 

His eyes glazed at the memory of her telling him that it would be beneficial to both of them to wait until the doctor gave the green light.

Her hands and mouth on his body never failed to make him happy.  However, he wanted more.  He wanted to feel her muscles clamping down on him while she climaxed.  He wanted her to feel his cock pressing against that special spot with each thrust.  He wanted to feel her hot juices coating him as he...

He moved his hand down and gently squeezed the shaft of his erection, putting a halt to his impending orgasm.  He groaned softly, then bent his head and placed a tender kiss on her forehead.

He smiled as she mumbled his name and snuggled closer to him.  He leaned over her, kissing her lips gently.  He pulled back in time to watch her eyes slowly open.

“Hi...”  She smiled lazily up at him.

“Hello.”  He leaned back on his elbow, his head resting against his head as he looked into her eyes.  “Good dreams?”

She moved closer to him, snuggling against his chest.  “Mm.  Yeah.”

He let his hand wander slowly down her bare body, letting it rest on her hip.  His fingers traced small circles against her skin.  “Buffy...”

She placed a soft kiss on his chest before she looked up at him.  “Hm?”

“I...it’s been two months.”

She smiled as she reached down between their bodies, her hand instantly finding his erection.  “What were you thinking about?”

His eyes closed, a groan escaping his lips as his head fell back onto the pillow.  “You...”

She gently squeezed the hardened flesh, licking her lips when he gasped.  “What about me?”

He licked his lips as her hand began to slowly manipulate him.  Sliding up and down, changing her pressure here and there.  He groaned again as her thumb slid across the head.  “I...uh...there is nothing...about you that...doesn’t do this...to me...”

She grinned, leaning forward and running her tongue across his chest.  She stopped at one of his nipples, lightly nipping at it with her teeth before sucking it into her mouth as she continued her manual assault on his erection.

“Oh, dear Lord...Buffy...”

She smiled against his skin, releasing his nipple from her mouth.  Moving up his body, she kissed him passionately.  She let out her own groan as his tongue invaded her mouth.  He thrust his tongue against hers with the same rhythm that her hand was keeping.

His left hand found her breast, his fingers rolling and gently pinching her nipple.  His chest rumbled with lust as she whimpered into his mouth. 

In one swift motion he had rolled her onto her back.  He was leaning over her in a way that still gave her access to his now raging hard-on, but also allowed him to bend his head slightly and pull one of her nipples into his mouth. 

His left hand gently pushed her thighs apart, his fingers easily finding their way to her swollen lips.  She moaned loudly as his fingers spread her lips, allowing his thumb to brush across her clitoris.  His middle finger easily slid into her as his thumb pressed lightly against the hardened nub.  Her hips thrust up against his hand as his name rolled off of her tongue.

His mouth released her nipple, moving up to reclaim her mouth.  Their scorching kiss lasting until they physically needed to break for a breath.  They stared at each other through lust-filled eyes. 

“Buffy...I need you...”  He said breathlessly.

She lightly placed her hand on his chest.  “I don’t want to hurt you...”

He smiled sweetly and moved his body between her thighs, supporting himself above her with his hands resting on the bed on either side of her waist.  “You won’t.”

She shuddered involuntarily as he suggestively pressed his hips forward, letting his erection slide across her clitoris.  “Rupert...”

He stopped his motion and stared at her.  “That sounded…odd.”

She narrowed her eyes and nodded.  “Yeah, it really did.  You okay if I stick with ‘Giles’?”

“Mm-hm.”  He mumbled softly and resumed his movement.

“Giles…wait…what if – ”

He shook his head and pressed again.  “No ‘what ifs’ darling.  You won’t hurt me.”  He leaned down and sucked her bottom lip into his mouth briefly.  “What if I promise you something?”

Her hips arched towards him as he pressed harder against her.  “What?”

“If I feel...”  His eyes closed as her nails lightly raked across his nipple.  “pain...any pain.  I’ll stop.”  His eyes found hers again, gleaming with love and lust.  “I promise.”

She pushed herself up slightly and captured his lips with hers.  Her fingers grasped the back of his head, holding him against her as her tongue plunged into his mouth.  She felt, rather than heard, his moan as she slid her lithe muscle against his.  His teeth lightly scraped across her tongue when she slowly pulled from the kiss and lay back until her head was resting on the pillow.

Her lips pulled into a smile as she raised her legs, resting her knees against his sides.  “Make love to me, Giles.”

He held her gaze as he shifted slightly, the head of his erection pushing gently against her warm opening.  “If you’re not sure, please tell me now...”

Her smile lit up her eyes as her hand lifted to rest on the side of his face.  “I’m sure.”

He turned his head slightly, pressing a kiss into the palm of her hand.  He pushed his hips forward, easing his way inside of her.  They both gasped simultaneously at the sensation when he had fully entered her. 

He remained still, allowing her body to adjust.  He waited for her to make the first move.  He felt her body tremble slightly, then her hips move up towards him.  He whispered a soft “I love you” before they fell into a gentle, easy, and surprisingly familiar rhythm together.

She groaned loudly as he brushed across her g-spot repeatedly.  Her quivering muscles gripped him tightly.  He matched her groan with a loud one of his own as she bucked her hips up, driving him deeper inside of her.

He bent down, his lips finding her collarbone.  He lightly nipped at it, sucking her tender flesh into his mouth.  Her fingers wound in the hair on the back of his head, holding his mouth to her skin.

“Harder, Giles...”  She gasped.

For a split second he wasn’t quite sure if she meant that she wanted him to thrust or suck harder.  She answered that quickly for him as she slammed her hips upwards, forcing him to thrust harder.

He groaned in ecstasy, letting her skin fall from his lips as he pushed himself up so that he was practically kneeling between her thighs.  His hands slid under her, pulling her into a different angle so that he could penetrate her deeper and harder.  His fingers kneaded the firm flesh of her ass as he increased his thrusts.

He felt her inner walls contracting as she cried out, her hot juices flowing over him as she reached orgasm.  He rode out the waves of her climax, his eyes focused on her face.  Within a few seconds, he could feel a second orgasm beginning.  He held on as long as he could, slamming his body against hers.  He let go only as she screamed his name.

He fell forward, capturing her mouth with his to stifle her screams.  She shuddered violently, feeling him flood her inner walls.  Her hands slid down his sweat-drenched back as she kissed him.  Only when he was sure that her screams had calmed did he release her mouth from his kiss. 

She held him close, keeping him inside of her for as long as possible.  He gently rolled them onto their sides, facing each other.  She whimpered lightly as his softening cock slipped from her grip. 

She looked into his eyes, raising a trembling hand to gently wipe the sweat from his face.  “Are you...”

He chuckled softly, brushing her damp hair back from her face.  “I’m fine, Buffy.  Are you?”

She grinned, nodding slowly.  “Mm...better than fine.  You are...I never thought, even in my wildest dreams...”  She licked her lips, her fingers playing with the wet curl of hair above his ear.  “The things you make me feel...”

His chest still rising and falling heavily, he leaned forward and kissed her lips.  “You’re absolutely amazing.”

“Why did we wait so long?”

He laughed, his fingers twirling a strand of her hair.  “Because you kept saying that I wasn’t medically sound.”

“No...”  She shook her head gently.  “I mean...we’ve felt this way about each other for so long.  Why did we wait?”

His eyes took on a serious turn.  “Timing.  The timing wasn’t right.”  He lightly stroked her bare back with his fingers.  “There was always something in our way.  People, events, demons, a few apocalypses...”

She nodded silently in agreement.

“But...then you kicked me through a doorway.”  He offered her a playful grin, which widened as she began to laugh. 

He gently rolled onto his back, pulling her on top of him.  She raised an eyebrow when she felt him twitch beneath her. 

He smiled knowingly, letting his hands rest on her hips.  “You did ask me one time what a stevedore is…”

Her hands covered his as she rocked her hips, rubbing herself against his quickly hardening flesh.  “I think I’m kinda getting the picture.  Do stevedores have as much stamina as a Slayer?”

He chuckled as he lifted her up, allowing himself to enter her again.  “One way to find out.”

She grinned at him before closing her eyes in pleasure.  “Or…two or three…”



~ End


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