Title:  Archaic Amusement

Author:  Froxyn

Rating:  FRM (light)

Pairing:  Buffy/Giles

Timeline:  S5’ish, AU.  No Dawn, no Riley, no Glory…

Synopsis:  Willow’s injured, so Buffy takes her place in a competition.

Author’s Note:  Bunny given to me by 4thderevko.  Betaed by the wonderful wyvernwolf.



“You can’t honestly believe this is a good idea.”  Giles stated, his arms crossed over his chest. 


Buffy looked up as she tied the laces of her rollerskates.  “What’s wrong with it?  It’s rollerskating, Giles…”


“I beg to differ.  When one rollerskates, one does not normally have to dodge objects being thrown in one’s path.”


She rolled her eyes, sliding her feet back and forth on the wooden floor.  “Would you rather I bob for apples?”


“Bob for…what in God’s name are you talking about?”


“It was either skate or bob for apples in order to win.”  She replied as she carefully stood up.


“Be careful!”  He groaned, reaching out to steady her.  “Win what?”


“Thanks…”  She said gratefully, holding on to his jacket lapel as she balanced herself.  “Don’t even get me started on the ‘win what’ thing.  This is all Willow’s fault anyway.”


“How is this Willow’s fault?”


“She entered the damn thing…then she had to go and sprain her ankle, didn’t she?”  She sighed and glanced towards the opposite side of the room.  “Maybe I should do the bobbing for apples thing…”


“I still don’t understand why…”


“But, I don’t like bobbing for apples.  It’s too…”


“…you have to participate in this…”


“…wet.  Apple bobbing is a wet sport.  And…”


“…if Willow has dropped out.  I mean…”


“…I’ll get really wet if I’m bobbing…”


Giles stopped in the middle of his sentence and stared at her.  She looked back at him, eyes wide at the realization of what she had said. 


“Um, apples…bobbing for apples.  Bobbing…water…water splashes on shirts…”


Giles unconsciously glanced at her chest, inhaling sharply as he envisioned her standing before him in a wet shirt.  Wet from bobbing…


He closed his eyes and turned his back to her.  This was not the time to picture her kneeling in front of him, her head bobbing up and down as she…


“Bloody hell.”  He grumbled and walked off.


Buffy’s brow furrowed as she watched him stride purposely across the room towards the door.  When he pushed the door open, she finally got her act in gear and took off after him.  As a Slayer, she could run fast.  As a Slayer, she could skate even faster.


He had just stepped out into the sun, the door hadn’t even closed fully, when she sped out and grabbed his arm.  He stumbled forward as her momentum carried him, knocking him into the back fender of his car.




“Why did you leave?”  She asked breathlessly.  “What happened in there?”


“Nothing.”  He muttered, pulling his arm from her grasp and then smoothing down the front of his shirt.


She didn’t fail to notice that he was having a hard time actually looking at her.  “Giles?”


“I just…”  He shook his head and glanced at the door.  “Are you really going to do this?”


“Yeah, I am.”  She replied, folding her arms over her chest.  “Do you really have a problem with it?”


Giles took a breath and exhaled slowly.  “I think it’s an asinine thing to do.  I also think that you shouldn’t stoop to this level of…archaic amusement…”


Buffy raised an eyebrow.  “Archaic amusement?”


“I don’t understand how you would find this ‘fun’.  You yell at me when I throw things at you.” 


She stared at him, his pathetic tone not sinking into her mind.  “You throw knives at me, Giles.  They’ll be throwing things like…I don’t know…soap suds or something.  And if I win, I’ll get – ”


“I don’t care what you’ll get, Buffy.”  He interrupted, trying to push the thought of her covered in soap suds out of his head.  “For God’s sake, Buffy…you are the Slayer…”


“I swear to God…if you go into the ‘one girl in all the world’ speech…”


Giles straightened and narrowed his eyes at her.  “The Slayer’s Prophecy states that you alone will wield the strength and skill to fight the vampires, demons, and the forces of darkness; to stop the spread of their evil and the swell of their numbers.”


“Giles!”  She glared back at him, dropping her arms to her sides.


“It does not state that you rollerskate through a mob of unruly young adults who will throw soft toys and soap suds at you.  This is not what a Slayer does, Buffy.”  He set his jaw, determined that he would win this argument.  “Therefore…this is not what you will do.”


If he had actually been winning the argument, he lost it with that one simple statement. 


“It’s not what I will do?”  She asked, her tone cold. 


“No.  This is not proper behaviour for a Slayer.”


“I see.”  She replied, her eyes flashing as she turned and skated back towards the door.




She stopped, the door handle in her hand, and looked back at him.  “I’m going in there…I’ll win this competition…and then we’ll talk later about a Slayer’s proper behaviour as compared to mine…Buffy, not the ‘Slayer’.  Because those two behaviours are very different.  You’re more than welcome to watch me win…but, if you’re not here, I’ll find you.”


Before he had a chance to respond, she opened the door and rolled inside.


Giles tilted his head towards the sky and closed his eyes. “Bloody hell!”


With a heavy sigh, he shoved his right hand into his pocket and made his way back to the door.  After only a moment’s hesitation, he pushed the door open and re-entered the converted warehouse.


“Oh…dear Lord…”  His eyes widened as he took in the scene in front of him. 


As two young men covered the floor in the small rink with a layer of white, sudsy foam, Giles wondered if the prize for winning the competition had anything to do with the adult film industry.  He loosened his tie and slowly made his way over to the spectators’ benches. 


He paused when he saw Buffy skate around the outer edge of the rink.  Thankfully, she had not followed her fellow competitors who had stripped down to bikinis.  He was fairly certain that he wouldn’t be able to handle that…not when looking at her now, dressed as she were in a pair of denim shorts and a large, comfy t-shirt, made his cock twitch in his trousers.


He jumped when he felt a gentle tap on his arm.  He looked down into the smiling eyes of Willow.


“Hey, Giles…come to watch Buffy win this for me?”


Giles cleared his throat, glancing back at Buffy before shaking his head.  “Actually, I attempted to talk her out of this.”


Willow chuckled as Buffy took her position on the start line.  “Guess you weren’t too successful in that venture, huh?”


“Not as such, no.”  He answered softly, swallowing thickly as Buffy bent slightly, placing her right palm on her right thigh.  “I, uh…what is this competition for?”


“Oh…a new Mac.  Mine is on its last legs…”


Giles looked down, his brow knitted in confusion.  “Mac?”


Willow couldn’t help but smile.  “MacIntosh…computer.”




“And by ‘on its last legs’, I meant that it’s a little old…not that it actually has legs.”


Giles rolled his eyes at her good-natured teasing.  “Yes, I had assumed that.”


Willow grinned and readjusted her crutches.  “I could’ve totally won this.  But, then – ”


She looked up to find Giles staring at Buffy.  She recognized the unmistakable look of desire in his eyes.


“Well, that Scalipi demon just kinda came out of nowhere and…there I was, skating naked.  ‘Cause in the next round you have to skate naked…”


Once her words permeated his thoughts, he darted his eyes towards her in shock.  “What?!”


Willow shook her head in amusement.  “Relax Giles, I was just kidding.”


When he visibly relaxed a little and turned his attention back to his Slayer skating around the rink while people took turns throwing harmless objects at her, Willow sighed.


“Why don’t you tell her?”


“Tell who what?”  He questioned, not taking his eyes off of Buffy.


“Buffy…that you…”  She paused for just a second.  “What do you want?  I mean, do you love her…or do you just want to have sex with her?”


Giles lowered his gaze from Buffy, but refused to look at Willow.  “I’m sorry?”


“We all see it, Giles.”  She amended her statement when he turned his eyes to her.  “Except for Buffy…she doesn’t see it.”


Giles cleared his throat.  “Perhaps…she doesn’t want to see it.”


Willow smiled warmly and placed her hand comfortingly on his back.  “You’re as blind as she is…you don’t see her wanting you either.”


“Pardon?”  He asked in a bewildered tone.


At that moment, Buffy looked over from the interior of the rink…neatly jumping over a pillow that had been thrown.  Her concentration was broken by the sight of Willow’s hand on Giles’ back…rubbing his back as she smiled up at him.


Her balance was lost when a large plush Winnie the Pooh smacked into her shoulder.


“Out!”  A voice boomed over the P.A. system.


Giles and Willow looked towards the rink quickly, just in time to see Buffy’s skates straight up in the air before falling back to the ground.  Giles took off quickly, running towards the rink and jumping over the small boundary marker. 


He slipped in the suds, falling to his knees and sliding over to Buffy.  His hand tenderly touched her thigh.


“Buffy!  Buffy, are you alright?”


She groaned and rolled her eyes, lifting her head just enough to rip the helmet off.  “Oh, never better.”


“What happened?”  He asked, pulling her up to a sitting position.


“I…”  Her eyes narrowed when she remembered that she was supposed to be angry.  “What were you and Willow doing?”


“What?”  His brow furrowed in confusion at her sudden anger.  “Buffy…”


“She had her hands all over you!”


“No, she didn’t.”  He disagreed quickly.  “She…”  He hesitated as his eyes darted down to her now very wet t-shirt…which left little to his imagination.  “Dear Lord…”


She looked down and groaned in frustration.  “Great!  Just fucking great!  Willow gropes you, I fall and break my bra of all fucking things, and now…”


“Grope?”  His eyes darted back to hers.  Willow was not groping me.  She was comforting me because I…”


He bit his bottom lip, censoring his words.  She looked up as she slipped her hands under the front of her shirt and refastened her bra.


“Because you…what?”


“Either kiss her or get off the floor, man…we have other contestants waiting.”  The commentator stated over the speakers, amusement in his voice.


“Bloody hell.”  Giles murmured. 


Buffy’s eyes widened as she watched Giles redden.  “You want to?  Kiss me, I mean?”


He swallowed nervously and stood, extending his hand to help her up.  She glanced at his groin and smiled, the hard bulge in his now wet pants impossible to miss.


“Guess you do…”

“Please, Buffy…just…let’s go.”


She took his hand, allowing him to help her stand. As he led her from the rink, she glanced over at Willow and smiled warmly.  Willow gave her a small wave, her smile growing as she dropped the crutches and walked off in the opposite direction, with no hint of a limp at all.


Buffy stared after her, the sudden realization of what Willow had done sinking in.  She looked back at Giles when he carefully slipped his jacket over her shoulders.


“We, uh…you should get out of those skates…”




“Thankfully you were wearing a helmet…you could have sustained a horrible head injury in that fall.”


She smiled wryly, sitting down on the nearest bench.  “And you’d know all about head injuries, wouldn’t you?”


He knelt before her, chuckling softly as his nimble fingers pulled at the wet laces.  “Yes, I would.”


She watched him as he gently removed her skates, setting them to the side before looking up at her.  She wrapped the jacket around her and smiled nervously.


“I was struggling with the thought of telling you my true feelings.”  He stated quietly.  “That’s why Willow was comforting me.”


“Giles, we don’t have to – ”


“I wanted to kiss you…I want to kiss you.  I want to do more than kiss you, Buffy.  And that’s because…”  He took a deep breath and then let the words roll off his tongue.  “I love you.”


He watched as her eyes began to glisten, and he realized that the words felt wonderful.  And so he moved to sit beside of her on the bench, lifting his hand to brush a wet strand of hair back from her face.


“I love you, Buffy.”


“Can you take me home?”  She asked, placing her hand on his thigh when a flicker of sadness shone in his eyes.  “Because…I really want to kiss you and I’m pretty sure that I don’t want our first kiss to be in front of a lot of people we don’t know.”


“Um…your home or, uh…mine?”  He asked nervously.


She pretended to mull over her options and then leaned into him, her breath warm against his skin as she whispered into his ear.  “I’ll let you decide…but, keep in mind one thing…”


“Hm?”  He murmured, his hands aching to touch her.


“I love you.”  She whispered before she placed a soft kiss on the warm skin right in front of his ear.


He gave a soft groan and then stood quickly, grabbing her hand and pulling her up with him.  She laughed happily and picked up her skates before he led her towards the door.


Willow was leaning against the wall waiting…almost patiently.  She grinned as the door swung open and a smiling Giles literally dragged a laughing Buffy to his car.  Her grin grew as Giles opened the passenger door and nudged Buffy inside. 


Giles closed the door and rushed around the car, sliding into the driver’s seat and looking over at his passenger.  He opened his mouth to say something and then shook his head lightly, sliding his hand behind her neck and pulling her to him instead.


The kiss started hard and escalated from there.  Within seconds, his tongue was in her mouth and her hands were tugging at his tie.  When he felt her roughly pull his shirt out of his pants, he broke the kiss and rested his forehead against hers as he fought for breath.


“Home…we need to get home…now.”


“Uh-huh…”  Buffy agreed breathlessly.  “If we don’t go soon, kissing isn’t going to be our only first in this car…”


He grinned and pulled back, sliding the key into the ignition and starting the car.  The car roared to life and Willow pushed herself from the wall, sighing happily as Giles pulled out of the parking lot.


She was sure that Buffy would want to discuss certain things later…mainly the whole ‘ankle not really sprained’ thing…but, she had a feeling that it would be a few days before that conversation would take place.  She smiled and waved as Xander pulled up.


Xander raised an eyebrow as she climbed into the car.  “Well?”


“Operation Buffy/Giles…success.” 


Xander grinned and gestured to the seat belt.  “Buckle up, Will…Anya and Tara gave me strict orders to get you back ASAP.”


Willow laughed and buckled the seat belt as Xander maneuvered the car back onto the street.  They were so engrossed in their own conversation that neither of them noticed the red BMW pulled over to the side of the road. 


The occupants of that car were too caught up in one another’s kisses to notice anyone driving by.  This time, it was Buffy who pulled away and mumbled ‘home’.  Giles swallowed and shifted the car into drive. 


He wouldn’t worry about breaking any speed limits this time.



~ End



Bunny from 4thderevko is as follows:


Buffy is planning to do something of which Giles disapproves. This is before they are *together* in any way. It's something silly, like a wet t-shirt contest or a sexy dance for a talent show... you get the idea ;) Giles doesn't like it. He tries to stop her. She doesn't like that... Oh my! hehe :)

Random element: apples


Return to Fic Index