Title: A New Chapter, A New Book
Timeline: AU, late S4/early S5…ish. No Riley, No Dawn.
Synopsis: Tensions are high…boiling points are reached.
Author’s Note: As always, thank you A.
The front door of Giles’ apartment slammed open with such force that the coat rack standing behind it fell over. Giles took no notice of it as he stormed through the doorway, throwing the crossbow onto the counter. Buffy followed him, staring at him as she slammed the door closed.
“What the fuck were you thinking?”
Giles turned slowly and returned her stare, his eyes dark with anger. “What the fuck was I thinking? What about you?”
“I’m the goddamn Slayer, Giles! I was doing my job!”
“Oh, were you?” He ground out, taking three large steps towards her. “Your job is to listen to your Watcher. I’m fairly certain you did the exact opposite as to what I instructed you to do.”
“You’re not my Watcher, Giles!”
She regretted that remark as soon as it left her lips. She shook her head as he straightened and took a step back.
“Giles, that’s not – ”
“Go, Buffy.” He said evenly, his jaw clenching.
“I didn’t mean – ”
“Get out.” He stared into her eyes as he gestured towards the door, his voice eerily calm – which betrayed the emotions churning in his eyes. “You need to leave now.”
Buffy shook her head defiantly. “No. No, I’m not leaving this like…this.”
“There is no this. I’m not your Watcher.”
“I just meant…officially…”
“Officially, you no longer work for the Council either. Why do you still slay?” He countered, crossing his arms over his chest.
“Because it’s my duty. I was chosen…”
Giles nodded slowly, his eyes boring into hers. “My duty is to keep you alive. Though my assignment was taken from me, my duty to you…as your Watcher…”
He paused and exhaled deeply, doing his best to calm his anger.
“They can’t take away my commitment to you – no matter how hard they try. I don’t work like that, Buffy.”
“I know.” She whispered. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say that.”
“But, you did. Which is why I need you to go. Come back tomorrow or…in a few days, even. Give me time to process this…to figure out what I need to do.”
“What you need to do?” She narrowed her eyes at him. “What the hell does that even mean?”
He lowered his arms and walked around her to the door. He pulled the door open and stared at her expectantly.
She stared into his eyes and then walked over, placing her hand on the door and slamming it closed. “You’re leaving. Going back to England?”
“You’ve made it abundantly clear that I’m not needed here, Buffy. This should seriously come as no shock to you. Especially now.” He turned from her and started towards the living room.
“Fuck you!” She growled, following him.
He turned towards her suddenly, his anger sparking in his eyes. “Fuck me? Fuck you, Buffy!”
Buffy stopped, clearly startled at his outburst. She stood her ground as he walked back to her, though she felt anything but safe or calm as he stopped in front of her…glaring down at her. She was certain she had never seen this side of him before.
“I have put my entire life on hold for you. For you! I’ve put up with your teasing, your disrespect, your insubordination, your…childish insinuations and innuendos. For years, I’ve put up with this. And you have the audacity to stand there and curse me for asking you to give me time to consider what I need to do to keep myself sane in this godforsaken country on this bloody Hellmouth. I need time, Buffy. I need time to work through…”
His jaw clenched as he stopped himself from continuing. Buffy continued staring at him, almost daring him to continue. And then she actually did dare him when she spoke.
“Time to work through what?”
He hesitated for the briefest of moments and then he grabbed her – his right hand on her shoulder, his left at the back of her head. Before she could process anything, his mouth was on hers…his teeth nipping at her bottom lip. She gasped in surprise and he took the opportunity to sweep his tongue into her mouth. His fingers tightened in her hair, she curled her fist against his chest.
And then, as suddenly as it began, he ended the kiss and stepped away from her. He swallowed hard, shaking his head as she stared at him in disbelief. He pointed towards the door again and licked his lips.
She shook her head as if she was clearing her thoughts and took a step towards him. “Giles…”
“Buffy…I am literally begging you right now. Please…go.”
“You…kissed me.” She whispered incredulously. “Like…really kissed me.”
“Fuck’s sake…” He muttered, moving past her and grabbing the doorknob. He flung the door open and turned to look at her.
She was still standing there, still staring at him, still looking the most confused he had ever seen her. Instead of insisting again that she leave, he took a deep breath and whispered two words.
And then he left, closing the door behind him. He closed it forcefully, but he didn’t slam it.
She lifted her fingers to her mouth and gingerly touched her still-tingling lips.
“What the hell…” She muttered to the empty room.
* * *
Giles sat on a low stone wall, staring out over the town below…a brown bottle in his hand. He lowered his head when he felt Buffy approach him from behind.
“You’re not thinking of jumping are you?” She asked softly, stopping behind him…a little to his right.
“What?” He furrowed his brow, but didn’t look at her.
“Kingman’s Bluff…not the first time I’ve stopped someone from doing something stupid up here. Probably won’t be my last…” She climbed over the wall and sat down next to him.
“I’m just…thinking. It’s peaceful here.” He paused and then lifted his head and resumed staring out over the town. “Most of the time.”
“Yeah. Point taken, but I’m going to let it slide…”
“Of course you are. Why wouldn’t you?” He replied, too tired to hide his snarkiness.
“What happened? Back there?”
His jaw twitched, but he still wouldn’t look at her. “I’m fairly certain I kissed you.”
Buffy scoffed lightly, turning her eyes from him and staring out over Sunnydale with him. “Is that what it was? Because, I’ve gotta say – ”
“You don’t ‘gotta say’ anything.” He interrupted, lifting the bottle to his lips.
She glanced at the bottle and sighed. “Are you drinking?”
He rolled his eyes and turned the bottle so she could see the label. “Root beer. Even I recognise that drinking would be the worst possible thing I could do right now.”
“Root beer? You like root beer?” When he didn’t respond, she sighed heavily. “Okay, business only, then. Why would that be the worst possible thing?”
He took another sip from the bottle and shook his head. “Because I’d likely do it again – or attempt to. And should that attempt be successful, I’m fairly certain I wouldn’t stop. If allowed, that is – I’m very aware that I could be stopped.”
“And…if you were allowed?” She asked quietly.
He tilted his head back and stared up at the dark sky for a moment. “For fuck’s sake, Buffy…”
“What? Are you the only one allowed to harbor secret feelings? Is it so unbelievable that maybe I’d want this too?” She asked, staring at his profile.
“Frankly…” He lowered his gaze back to the town below. “Yes, it is.”
She shook her head in frustration. “Well, maybe you’re not all omniscient like you think you are.”
He gave her a sideways glance, but still didn’t look at her directly.
“All-knowing…” She clarified.
He finally turned his head slowly towards her. “Yes, I know the definition. However, I’m not aware of stating that I am, or have been at any time, omniscient.”
He snorted a soft laugh and drained the rest of his root beer. “That is a very obvious erroneous statement.”
“What are you thinking about?” She asked after a moment.
“What to do now.” He replied, looking at the bottle and toying with a corner of the label. “How did you find me?”
“I honed.” She said, with a soft smile.
He looked at her and shook his head. “You shouldn’t be here.”
Her smile faded. “Why are you so angry with me?”
He sighed heavily, turning his attention back to the bottle in his hands. “I’m increasingly frustrated with you. I’m angry with myself. Sometimes those emotions bleed into one another.”
“It felt angry. The kiss…”
“I suppose it did.” He whispered, pulling the label free from the bottle. “Not exactly how I’ve ever imagined that would happen.”
“I wasn’t expecting that to happen. To just…grab you like that. I am sorry.” He replied, not answering her question.
“Can we go back to your place? To talk?”
He looked at her briefly. “I’m not sure that would be the safest…or sanest…thing to do right now.”
“And sitting out here at 2 in the morning is?” She countered, arching an eyebrow at him.
“Vampires don’t like it up here. Too open, too…exposed.” Giles said, placing the bottle next to him on the wall.
“Are you?” She waited until he looked at her and then continued. “Too exposed?”
“Quite possibly.” He admitted, unable to stop his eyes from darting to her lips.
He shook his head and quickly stood up, shoving his hands into his pockets. Buffy stared at him.
“Don’t run away from me again.”
“I…I’m not. I’m just…standing.” He shrugged and turned his back towards her. “Dramatic gestures and such…”
She hesitated for a moment and then tamped down her nerves. Standing up, she walked to him and gently placed her hand on his lower back.
“Hasn’t there been enough drama for tonight?”
His muscles tensed under her touch, a reaction not unnoticed by her.
“What do you want from me?” He asked, almost inaudibly.
The pain and confusion in that question also did not go unnoticed by her. She wasn’t even sure he realised he had asked that question aloud.
She lowered her hand and looked up at him, not surprised that he was still purposely not looking at her. “I’ve imagined too, Giles. And in all of the scenarios that played in my head, that…what happened earlier…that was never one of them. I’m sorry that I’ve frustrated you…angered you…but, please don’t go. Even if that’s all we’ll ever have, I still need you in my life.”
The bob of his Adam’s apple as he swallowed was the only indication that she had that he had heard her. She exhaled slowly and took a step back from him.
“I’ll give you your peace. Just…be careful out here, okay? And…call me when you think you might want to talk about…” She cleared her throat and shook her head. “I’ll talk to you later.”
As she turned to walk away, he closed his eyes. With a heavy sigh, he reopened them and turned towards her…just as she climbed up onto the stone wall they had been sitting on earlier.
“What do you want from me, Buffy?”
“A chance.” She answered softly.
He took three steps towards her, holding her gaze. “A chance?”
“To show you what you mean to me. To make up for all of the stupid shit I’ve said or done over the years. To sit down and really discuss what’s happening here. To explore…what we could be, together.”
He hesitated for a moment and then nodded slowly. “That’s…a lot of chance.”
He shrugged his right shoulder and winced. Buffy narrowed her eyes at him.
“You’re hurt?” She jumped off the wall and made her way back to him. “You said you weren’t hurt.”
“I said…a lot of things that I didn’t necessarily mean.” He replied, his eyes following her hand when she lifted it to his shoulder.
He sucked in a sharp breath when she pressed against the joint. She bit her lip as she carefully prodded around his shoulder.
“Giles, you should probably see a doctor.”
He shook his head, closing his eyes against the pain. “It’s not broken or dislocated. It’s…spasming. The muscle is just…angry.”
“Lot of that going around.” She said, a hint of a smile playing at her lips.
He snorted a soft laugh. The first laugh she had heard from him all night.
“I can help, if you’ll let me.” Her smile grew a bit when he opened his eyes and looked at her. “You think I haven’t picked stuff up after all of the post-training massages you’ve given me when my muscles hurt?”
“I just want to help you, Giles. Please…just let me help you.”
He was quiet for a moment and then exhaled a deep breath. He had to admit that the spasms in his shoulder were getting worse…and there was no way he could reach the area himself.
He gave her a gentle nod and glanced towards the path that led back down to the town.
“Okay.” Buffy echoed, falling into step next to him as he began walking.
* * *
Buffy narrowed her eyes as Giles walked directly into the kitchen. “What are you doing?”
“Tea.” He replied, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
“Okay. Need help?” She smiled as he scoffed.
“I’m perfectly capable of boiling a kettle and pouring boiled water over teabags.”
“Chill with the snippiness, Giles. I’m just offering.”
He turned to look at her as she sat down on one of the stools at the breakfast bar. “I’m sorry.”
She offered him a smile of acceptance and glanced at his shoulder. “Are you sure it’s just spasms? You look really uncomfortable.”
He nodded, his eyes looking around the apartment. “Did you…tidy up?”
“Huh?” She looked around and then shrugged. “Oh, yeah. Nothing major. Just cleaned the crossbow and put it away…washed up the dishes…did a little dusting…sorted the mail…”
She blushed lightly when he turned his eyes back to her. “I didn’t want to leave until we sorted this out. It’s not like there was much to actually tidy, so…once I was done, I came looking for you.”
“Would you like a tea?” He asked softly.
“Yeah, thanks.” She watched him as he opened a cabinet and rummaged around in the back. When he pulled out a box and placed it in front of her, she chuckled. “Wow…sharing your Jaffa Cakes with me?”
“Don’t tell Xander where I keep them, please.”
“Your secret is safe with me.” She said, amusement showing in her eyes.
He gave her a small smile and turned to finish the tea preparations. She ran her fingertip along the box, wanting to talk to him but not knowing exactly what to say. In fact, it was the first time in a very long time that she had felt unease at being in his place…alone with him.
Giles cleared his throat as the kettle whistled. “I…apologise for your discomfort. I realise that’s due to my earlier actions.”
“What?” She asked, looking up quickly.
He splashed some milk in each of the mugs and turned towards her. “You’re uncomfortable here…that’s my fault. I’m sorry.”
“No, I didn’t need a translation. I understood what you said…I just don’t understand why you said it.”
He exhaled slowly, placing the milk in the refrigerator and picking up his mug. He gestured towards the living room with a tilt of his head. She picked up the box of Jaffa Cakes and her own mug and followed him as he walked over to the sofa.
“I can feel your apprehension, Buffy. It’s coming off of you in waves.”
“And you think that’s because you kissed me?”
He sat down on the sofa and raised an eyebrow at her. “I think it’s because I attempted to throw you out of my home…after yelling at you, cursing at you, and then kissing you. It would stand to reason that you wouldn’t be exactly comfortable here.”
She took a sip of her tea and then placed it on the coffee table. As she opened the box of Jaffa Cakes, she shrugged a shoulder.
“I wouldn’t say I’m uncomfortable. I’d say…maybe nervous, uneasy, a little anxious…”
“Which are synonyms for ‘uncomfortable’…” He replied with a soft chuckle.
She took out one of the biscuits (as he called them – ‘they are most definitely not cookies’ he had stated more than once) and offered them to him. She smiled as he pulled four out and immediately popped one into his mouth.
Her smile faded as he gingerly attempted to rotate his shoulder. “You could’ve gotten yourself killed tonight…stepping in like that when you did.”
“The alternative would have been tremendously worse.” He countered.
“Yeah, I see that now. Thank you for stepping in, but…it really scared me, Giles. How close it came…how close I came to losing you.”
He placed the three biscuits that were still in his hand next to his mug of tea on the lamp table. He gathered his thoughts and then slowly turned his head to look at her.
“That’s how I feel every night, Buffy. Sending you out there…never knowing if it’s going to be the last time I see you.” He shook his head, his eyes soft and warm. “All of this is becoming so much harder to cope with.”
They looked at each other for a long moment, neither of them saying anything. Gesturing towards his shoulder, Buffy was the first to break the silence.
“Are you still okay for me to have a look at your shoulder?”
He hesitated for a second and then nodded, turning his back towards her. “It starts right below the blade…with the pain arcing up into the joint itself.”
Buffy grimaced, gently placing her hand on the area that he had described. “That sounds painful.”
“Mm…rather.” He closed his eyes, inhaling sharply as she applied pressure. “Shit…”
“Sorry.” She whispered, furrowing her brow in concern. “You’ve got a lot going on here…knots and tightness. I’m surprised you’re able to do anything. Do you want me to try to work them out?”
He was quiet for a moment and then gave a nod. “Please.”
“Okay…” She paused and then shook her head. “You’re going to need to lay down though…”
He looked over his shoulder at her, but said nothing. Instead, he stood up…pulling a throw cushion up with him. He walked around the coffee table and dropped the cushion onto the floor. He met her eyes and gestured towards the floor.
“I can move the coffee table…”
Buffy shook her head and stood up, making her way over to him. “No, there’s plenty of room. You’ll be comfortable there?”
He smiled and lowered himself to the floor. “I’ll be fine.”
She waited until he stretched out with his head on the cushion and then she knelt down beside him. “You sure you’re okay there?”
“There’s not enough room on the sofa.” He responded, curling his left arm under his forehead. “It’s actually not too bad.”
She reached out and tentatively placed her hand on the back of his shoulder, where the spasms had been originating. She felt the muscles tense and relax…rippling under the skin. She grimaced, knowing that it had to be more painful than he was letting on.
“Giles…this might hurt.”
“Yes, I’m sure it will.” His voice muffled by the cushion under him.
“If it’s too much…”
“I’ll sing out.”
She chuckled softly and then took a deep breath, placing both hands on his back just below his shoulder blade. He inhaled sharply as she pressed down, rolling the heel of her hand over the muscle. She paused for just a moment, continuing when he didn’t ask her to stop.
She focused on her ministrations, careful not to apply too much pressure. She shifted her movements in a small circle, working the muscle thoroughly. She glanced at his right hand, biting her lip as she watched his hand curl into a fist.
“Don’t stop, Buffy.” He whispered, his voice tinged with pain.
She felt the spasms begin to lessen in intensity. Worried that she would overwork the area, she moved her hands closer to his spine. She worked methodically, focusing on the tight knots that she could easily feel beneath his skin.
As a particularly tight knot worked free, he groaned softly. She smiled and moved to the next one.
“You okay?” She asked quietly.
“Mm-hm. I can’t remember the last time that was…” He sighed as a second knot unravelled. “Christ, that’s nice.”
“How’s your shoulder?” She asked, applying a fair amount of pressure on either side of his spine.
He groaned loudly as there were four consecutive cracks as Buffy increased her pressure. “Jesus…”
She slid her hands a bit lower and pressed again. A deep crack sounded and he exhaled deeply. She smiled as the rest of the tension in his muscles seemed to just slowly disappear. She had to admit she was somewhat relieved – her hands were beginning to cramp, though she wouldn’t have said anything to him about it.
“Shoulder is much better.” He murmured, an almost sleepy tone in his voice. “Back is amazing.”
She sighed as she looked at the back of his neck, suddenly tempted to lean down and press her lips to the skin just below his hairline. She sat back on her heels and exhaled slowly, removing her hands from his back after letting them linger just a little longer than she probably should have.
“A hot shower might help finish off the shoulder.” She said, smiling as he turned his head on the cushion.
He opened his eyes and smiled at her. “Thank you.”
“No problem. Need help getting up?”
“No. Honestly, I can’t remember the last time I felt this relaxed.” He replied, carefully pushing himself up.
“When was the last time you had a massage or saw a chiropractor or something?”
He knelt on his knees stretching his neck. “A proper massage? Probably my first year here.”
She furrowed her brow at the words ‘proper massage’, wondering what other kind of massage he had been given…and by whom. Then she shook her head to clear those thoughts – none of her business.
“Might want to look into having one regularly…”
He chuckled softly and stood up. He rotated his shoulder and inhaled deeply. It was much looser than it was, but there were still light spasms running through it. Perhaps she was right…a hot shower might be the best thing right now.
She smiled at him and tilted her head towards the hall. “Go on. I’ll put the kettle on. Maybe we can talk some when you get out of the shower?”
It was at that moment that he realised he had actually voiced that last thought aloud. He gave her a quick nod and exhaled a deep breath.
“We probably should.” He agreed and then rubbed the back of his head. “I, uh…I won’t be long.”
“As hot as you can stand it.”
He looked at her for a moment and then made his way down the hall. She watched him and then picked up the cushion, dropping it back onto the sofa before heading to the kitchen.
* * *
He groaned softly as the hot water pelted his shoulder and then flowed down his back. She had been right…it felt amazing. He rolled his head to the left, sighing as a loud pop sounded. He had teased her a couple of years earlier about maybe looking into a profession in law enforcement. That needed to be amended…she should go into remedial massage or equivalent.
“Oh, the things her hands are capable of…” He muttered to himself, shifting until the spray hit the back of his neck. His eyes snapped open, suddenly aware of what he had just said. He glanced down and rolled his eyes as his cock hardened slightly. “Fuck off…”
He leaned back, allowing the water to hit his chest, and furrowed his brow in thought. The anger he had felt earlier was no longer there, the frustration he felt was negligible. The attraction and…desire…were still very much present, possibly even more pronounced. He had to assume that the physical manifestations of his tension were mostly to blame for his irritability. He’d never been that quick to anger towards Buffy. In fact, his fuse could be described as infuriatingly long when associated with her.
Not that that made things any better. He had still said some horrible things to her, his tone had been abysmal, and his actions…well, those could have been gentler. He scoffed and shook his head. Okay, they probably shouldn’t have happened at all. He had crossed a line that he had been edging towards for months. He’d always been able to pull himself back from the edge…until earlier.
But, she had come after him. She had been worried and came looking for him. Even after he’d grabbed her and forcefully kissed her. He tilted his head slightly and ran his fingers through his wet hair. She’d also said that she had been hiding her own feelings, that she had imagined…
He reached out and turned the water off. He stood there for a moment, surrounded by steam.
“She had imagined.” He whispered to the empty room.
Well then, it seemed as though they probably should have a discussion. He picked up his watch and sighed. At nearly four in the morning…
* * *
He walked into the kitchen and paused in the doorway. An amused smile slowly appeared on his face as he watched her – standing on her tiptoes on the stool that he had purchased months earlier when she complained about his cabinets being too high.
“What are you doing?” He asked, sliding his right hand into the pocket of his jeans.
Buffy sighed and then grumbled lightly. “Looking for the chocolate.”
“You don’t need a stool for that.” He replied, his smile not fading as she turned to look at him.
“I’m not over six feet tall and have crazy long arms…”
Giles looked down at his left arm and then looked back at her. “Crazy long? My arms are perfectly proportionate to my height.”
He walked over, stopping next to her. He gestured towards the toaster on the other side of the oven. “You don’t need a stool because the chocolate is there…for your convenience when you’re making your mocha-like drinks.”
She stared at him for a moment, finding it somewhat odd to be standing there…at eye level with him. She’d always had to look up at him, even when sitting next to him, to talk to him…but here he was, standing directly in front of her.
She glanced at his hair, still damp from his shower and curling slightly around his ear. He tilted his head slightly, wondering what was going through her head at that moment.
She looked into his eyes and without saying a word, she leaned into him…sliding her fingers through his hair as she kissed him. He hesitated for only a moment before becoming an active participant, curling his arms around her waist as he parted his lips in an invitation. She accepted the invitation eagerly, nudging her tongue into his mouth as she shifted…draping her arms around his neck and allowing her fingers to lightly stroke the nape of his neck.
She ended the kiss slowly when she felt the groan rumble in his chest, resting her forehead against his and sliding her hands to his shoulders. He exhaled shakily, his hands splayed across her back as he held her against him.
“Well, that was much more enjoyable.” She whispered, smiling as he chuckled nervously.
“I’m not sure what brought that on, considering my appalling behaviour earlier. But, yes…it rather was.” He replied, allowing his right hand to slide down and rest on her hip.
“You have chocolate…in a conveniently accessible spot. Specifically for my coffee…which you have teased me about more than once.”
“What will having a bottle of cucumber body wash in my shower get me?” He asked playfully.
“Do you?” She asked, leaning back slightly and looking into his eyes.
He nodded slowly, lifting his left hand to run his fingers through her hair. “I do.”
She leaned back in to him, sniffing deeply at his neck. “You smell…sandalwoody…”
He sighed softly at the sensation of her warm breath on his neck. The fingers of his right hand edged under the hem of her shirt. He nodded slowly and then inhaled deeply at base of her neck.
“And you smell of cucumber.” He whispered, pressing his lips to her skin. “Taste like Buffy though.”
“Giles…” She closed her eyes when his tongue gently flicked against her skin.
He pressed a warm, open-mouthed kiss at the juncture of her neck and shoulder. His fingers tightened on her waist as slowly moved his mouth up the side of her neck to the soft spot right below her ear.
“Giles…” She repeated, sliding her hand to the back of his head.
“Mm?” He murmured, sucking gently at her skin.
“I think…Jesus, that’s nice…” She inhaled shakily and licked her lips. “But…but, I think…”
He registered her hesitation and slowly pulled back, feeling a sense of boyish pride at the flush showing on her face. He cleared his throat softly and loosened his grip on her waist, though he continued to gently stroke her skin with his thumb under her shirt.
“We should stop?” He asked, looking into her eyes.
“What? No…no, that’s not what I was going to say at all.” She replied quickly, glancing at his lips.
“No?” He smiled warmly, his hand slipping fully under her shirt…his palm resting on her ribs. “What were you going to say?”
She laughed adorably and looked down. “I’m standing on a stool…in your kitchen.”
He nodded slowly, his thumb grazing the cup of her bra. “This is true.”
“And I’m ready to let you do some very naughty things to and with me…”
His eyes darkened another shade and he pressed her body closer to his. “Are you?”
“But…not in your kitchen…” She whispered.
“Are you quite sure?” He asked, concentrating very hard on not pushing his hips against hers.
She raised an eyebrow at him, fingering the button on his Henley. “You really want to fuck me here?”
His mouth dropped open as he stared in surprise at her. “I…I actually meant…are you quite sure about us…” He paused for a moment and then smiled. “However, I’ll fuck you wherever you want, if that’s what you want. If that so happens to be in my kitchen, then…”
“Not in your kitchen, Giles…”
His hand moved out from under her shirt. He licked his lips as he lifted both hands to cradle her face. He stared into her eyes for a few moments and then he stroked her right cheek with his thumb. “Are you quite sure, Buffy?”
She smiled at the gentleness of his tone, which was in stark contrast to the statement he had made just seconds previously. “Are you having second thoughts?”
“Oh yes.” He whispered, brushing his lips across hers. “As well as third and fourth. I’m quickly approaching the fifth…which is why I really need you to answer me. Are you quite sure, Buffy?”
She placed her hand on his chest, directly over his heart. She sighed at the sensation of his heart beating…the warmth of his body that she could feel even through the two layers he was currently wearing.
“I’m very sure, Giles.”
He gazed into her eyes for a few more seconds and then gave her a subtle nod. Stepping back from her, he took hold of her hand and pulled her from the stool. He quickly turned the stove off and pushed the kettle to the back burner…and then he led her out of the kitchen and up the stairs to the loft.
* * *
He smiled as she looked around. He kicked off his shoes and removed his socks, watching her move around the relatively spacious area.
“Why do you sleep up here?” She asked, turning to face him. “I mean, there’s a perfectly good bedroom downstairs.”
“Closer to the door.” He replied, licking his lips as she sat down on the bed. “For, uh…well, in case I’m needed quickly.”
She glanced at the window, a soft smile playing on her lips as she saw the stars flickering in the sky. “It’s nice up here.”
He nodded slowly, making his way over to her. “You’ve been up here before.”
She looked at him as he carefully knelt on the floor in front of her, grinning at him as he placed his hands on her knees. “Yeah, but that was different. I was up here to check on you after you got your head bashed for the gazillionth time.”
He chuckled, gently pushing her knees apart and moving in between them. “And now?”
“Now?” She placed her hands on his chest, then slid them down to grip the hem of his shirt. “Now I’m here to make love with you.”
She pulled the shirt up and dropped it to the side, arching an eyebrow at him as she grabbed the bottom of the t-shirt. “Of course, that would be a hell of a lot easier to do if you didn’t wear so many damn layers…”
He exhaled deeply as she removed his t-shirt, leaving his upper body bare. “Make love?”
Her eyes darted to his quickly, worried that she’d said the wrong thing. She relaxed quickly when she saw the smile in his eyes.
“You okay with that?” She asked, allowing her fingers to trace a scar to the left of his left nipple.
“I did bring you up here…” He replied, quickly divesting her of her shirt and dropping it to the floor. He sighed as her fingers went straight back to the scar she had been exploring.
“To fuck…” She whispered, sounding a little concerned as she watched her fingers move to a second scar a little lower than the first.
He leaned forward, ducking his head slightly to catch her gaze. “I said I would fuck you if that’s what you wanted. I’d much rather make love with you, Buffy.”
“What happened here?” She asked, gently tapping the scar with her fingertips.
“Sword play many years ago. With…my younger brother.”
Her eyes widened slightly. “You have a brother?”
He offered a smile. “And a sister. Two parents, four grandparents…a plethora of cousins.”
“I have so much to learn about you.” She said, immediately reddening. “I mean…if you want to tell me about you.”
He laughed softly and kissed her, sliding his left hand behind her back and deftly unfastening her bra. She pulled from the kiss and grinned brightly at him.
His eyes sparkled with amusement. “Of everything I’ve done for you over the years…that’s what impresses you?”
She lifted her right hand to the side of his face, lightly rubbing her thumb over his cheekbone. “You’ve impressed me more times than I can count.”
“Good to know.” He whispered, pulling the bra away and dropping it on top of her discarded shirt. He leaned back slightly and breathed a heavy sigh. “Oh, but you’re lovely.”
She felt her nipples tighten under his gaze. She shuddered lightly as his fingers glided over the soft slope of her breast, carefully avoiding her nipples as they circled underneath. He smiled as she whimpered softly.
“Hm?” She murmured, her eyes closed as she focused on the feel of his fingers on her skin.
“Look at me, please.” He whispered, repeating his touch on her other breast…still carefully avoiding her nipple.
She forced her eyes open to find him staring directly into hers. “Giles…”
“I have two rules…”
“Rules? There are rules?” She asked, arching her chest towards his hand and groaning softly as he moved just before her nipple would have grazed his palm.
He smiled and licked his lips as he nodded. “Mm, yes…but only two. They should be easy to remember.”
“Mmkay…” She mumbled, sliding her fingertips over his nipple…hoping he’d return the favour.
“One…if I do something you don’t like, you have to tell me.” He waited until she gave him a nod and then continued. “Two…if there’s something you want me to do, please tell me.”
His eyes sparkled as he tilted his head slightly and stared at her. “What’s rule number two, love?”
“Tell you…if I want you to do something.”
He nodded and glanced at his hand resting on the side of her right breast. “Tell me, Buffy. There’s something you want right now…tell me.”
“Giles…” She whimpered quietly.
“I’ll go first.” He said, brushing his lips across hers. “Scratch your nails over my ribs…”
“What?” She asked, even as she moved her hand to rest on his side.
“A little lower…” He whispered, sighing as she followed his instruction. “Lightly…just…run your nails over my skin…there…”
He closed his eyes as she lightly raked her nails over the area. “Oh yes…”
She did it again and smiled as he moaned softly. “I didn’t know that was a thing…”
“Mm…words are very powerful…and can get you what you want or need, should you ask.” He opened his eyes and glanced at her lips. “Your turn. Tell me what you want at this very moment.”
“Nipples…” She whispered, flushing lightly when he smiled.
“Don’t be embarrassed, love. Tell me.” He circled her nipple with his thumb.
“Touch them…” She inhaled sharply when his thumb slid over the hardened nub. “God…again…harder…”
He rubbed his thumb over her nipple, back and forth…watching her as she bit her lip. He glanced at her other nipple and licked his lips. He slowly lowered his mouth to her breast, running his tongue over the nipple while he continued to rub and press and then roll the other one between his thumb and index finger.
She groaned loudly, moving her hand to the back of his head to hold him there. He gently sucked, then held it between his teeth as he flicked it with the tip of his tongue. He opened his eyes and looked at her, the pleasure showing on her face sending a wave of arousal through him. The intensity of that wave surprised him.
He shifted slowly, rising up from the floor and nudging her further onto the bed. His mouth moved to her other nipple, giving it the same attention as he had the first. As he suckled at her flesh, he carefully pushed her down onto the mattress.
She wrapped her legs around him, groaning at the sensation of his erection pressing against her as he leaned over her. He lightly nipped at her flesh with his teeth, moaning against her as her hips bucked up against him.
He lifted his head, allowing her nipple to slip from his mouth as he looked at her. “Are you okay?”
She nodded, her fingers trembling as she gripped his shoulders and pulled him further up. He smiled, gently rocking his hips against her as he lowered his mouth to hers. He felt her gasp and he reached down between them, easily unfastening her jeans and lowering her zipper.
The sound of the zipper seemed ridiculously loud and he lifted his head, smiling down at her. “Tell me…”
“I want you to touch me…”
He nodded, but sensed there was more that she needed to say. He tilted his head, his fingers lovingly stroking her belly just below her navel. “But?”
“Don’t…” She hesitated and darted her eyes away from him.
“Hey…” He whispered, gently turning her head back towards him. “There is nothing you could say that will make me think less of you. It’s okay…I can’t know unless you tell me. Don’t what?”
“Don’t…go down on me.” She replied on a rushed whisper, her eyes glistening. “I’ll…I’ll do you, if you want, but…”
“Whoa…this isn’t a ‘you like it so I’ll do it’ situation, Buffy. I will never ask you to do something you’re uncomfortable with…” He cradled her cheek in his palm and stared into her eyes. “Is this something you’d like to talk about? Need to talk about?”
“Not right now.” She answered, lifting her trembling hand to run her fingers through his hair. “Thank you.”
He saw something in her eyes and he exhaled slowly. “I will never hurt you, Buffy. Not intentionally.”
A slow smile appeared on her face. “I know.”
She slipped her hand between them and carefully unbuttoned his jeans. “Can I touch you?”
He nodded wordlessly, his eyes darkening slightly as he shifted to give her more room. He inhaled sharply as her hand brushed over his erection before her fingers slowly pulled his zipper down.
“Those…” She tugged gently at the open fly of his jeans. “Those need to come off…”
“And yours?” He asked softly, moving to stand at the edge of the bed.
She watched him as he removed his jeans and boxers, leaving himself completely bare in front of her. “Uh-huh, definitely…”
He smiled, watching her eyes roam over his body. His fingers curled over the waistband of her jeans and he waited until she gave him a look of expectation. He grinned, tugging lightly.
“Lift up, love…”
She laughed, lifting her hips. He laughed with her, holding her gaze as he removed her jeans and underwear…adding to the pile of clothing on the floor. His laughter ebbed as he allowed his gaze to fully take her in.
“Oh…oh my…” He whispered emotionally, stopping himself from immediately dropping to his knees and lowering his head between her thighs. Instead, he climbed back on the bed…kneeling between her thighs and capturing her mouth in a searing kiss.
He explored her mouth with his tongue, sliding his hand to her hip. She slipped her hand between them, tentatively placing her hand on his erection. He gasped and lifted his upper body enough to give her more room, breathing heavily as he gave her a nod.
He pushed himself up, lowering his gaze to her hand. He groaned as she wrapped her fingers around him, experimentally stroking him. He allowed her a few strokes, smiling as he covered her hand with his. She furrowed her brow and then whispered a soft ‘oh…’ when she realised what he was doing.
He shifted her hand slightly so that her thumb stroked along the underside of the shaft. He paused their movements and exhaled slowly.
“Is…is that comfortable for you?” He asked, rubbing his thumb over the back of her hand.
“Uh-huh…” She murmured, rubbing small circles with her thumb at the base of his erection. She smiled as his breath hitched. “Is that okay?”
“Mm…” He licked his lips and giggled softly.
She thought it was the most beautiful sound she’d ever heard…though it was definitely unexpected at the moment. She wondered what else would make him utter unexpected and interesting sounds.
Her thoughts were interrupted by his soft voice. “Gentle pressure here…” He guided her hand up, pausing only a moment. “Harder here…”
He breathed heavily, moving so that he was straddling her thigh. “Other than that…do what feels natural to you.”
He watched her, his eyes following her hand as she stroked him…remembering his two requests on every pass. A groan rumbled in his chest as she ran her thumb over the glans. She licked her lips and covered his hand that was resting lightly on her hip with her free one. His eyes snapped to hers as she guided his hand to the soft, damp curls between her thighs.
“Christ…” He gasped, cupping her mound.
“Touch me, Giles…” She moaned, arching her hips against him. “Please…touch me…”
He inhaled slowly and slipped two fingers between her labia. He paused, glancing down at his hand and grinned.
“Fuck, you’re so…wet…”
She pushed her head against the mattress, her hand increasing its pace slightly on his cock. “Uh-huh…have been…since you got out of the shower…”
“Hm?” He mumbled, watching her face as his middle finger slowly edged inside of her.
“Your hair…the curl at your ear…” The fingers of her left hand curled in the comforter. “Fucking sexy…”
He smiled and leaned down, kissing her chin as he slipped his ring finger in as well on the next stroke. “You’re unbelievably sexy…every fucking thing about you…”
He slightly curled his fingers inside of her, brushing over that slightly rough patch of flesh that he had found effortlessly. Her hand tightened on his cock, causing him to gasp in surprise.
“Fuck, Buffy…” He groaned, lowering his mouth to neck. He sucked and licked and kissed her as his hips thrust in rhythm to her strokes. He increased the pace of his fingers within her, allowing his thumb to flick across her clitoris.
“Jesus, fuck!” She cried out, moving her hand from the comforter to the back of his head. “Giles!”
He lifted his head and watched her in wonder. A bead of sweat rolled down to the hollow of her throat as she bucked against him.
“That’s it, love…just go with it…” He whispered, carefully pulling her hand from his erection and lacing their fingers together. He sat back on his heels, still straddling her thigh…and watched her come apart in front of his eyes.
She screamed his name as she came, her fluids hot and copious as they flowed over and around his fingers…pooling on the bed underneath her. He was sure he had never seen anything as beautiful as her in the throes of an intense orgasm.
He brought her down slowly, smiling adoringly at her as her eyes fluttered open.
“Good god, Giles…what the hell was that?”
He raised an eyebrow at her, finally allowing his fingers to slide out of her. He grinned as he lifted his hand and licked his fingers. “The beginning…”
“Of what?” She asked, trying to catch her breath.
He shifted and knelt between her thighs, grasping the base of his cock as he leaned forward slightly. He ran the head through her folds, gently nudging her still-quivering clit. He licked his lips as she bit her bottom lip and stared up at him.
“Of whatever you want this to be.” He whispered, slowly pushing himself into her. “Oh dear lord…”
“You normally…only say that…when it’s…apocalyptic…” She gasped as he pushed until he was completely embedded within her.
“Or when the pleasure is simply too indescribable for other words…” He replied with a grin.
She moved her hands to rest on his sides, curling her right leg over his hip. “How…how do you…do that?”
“Do what?” He asked, gently rocking his hips against her.
“Talk…” She closed her eyes and moved with him. “Big words, bigger senten…oh…”
“You…are stunning.” He whispered sincerely, gently brushing the hair back from her face. He rotated his hips, smiling as she moaned and lightly scratched her nails against him. “Is there anything you don’t like? That you don’t want me to do?”
“There is, but…not concerned. You’d never do that.” She replied without thought.
He paused his thrusts and lifted his hand to her cheek. “I’d never do what?”
“I’ll tell you later.” She replied, sliding her hands to his chest.
“Buffy, if something – ”
She pushed against his chest and flipped him onto his back, causing him to grunt in surprise. She moved on top of him and quickly guided his erection back into her. She leaned forward, supporting herself with her hands on his chest as she stared down at him.
“Later. I’m busy.”
Any argument he would have given was lost as she started moving on top of him. He rested his hands on her hips, gripping them tightly but not hindering her pace…content to let her set the rhythm. He waited until her fourth stroke and then he lifted his hips to meet her, matching his thrusts with hers almost instantly.
“Oh…holy fuck…” Buffy cried, her nails digging into his chest.
He looked up at her through dark, glassy eyes and smiled. His gaze travelled from her face to her breasts – and he groaned at the sight of them bouncing with their combined movements. She forced her eyes open and looked down at him, aroused and somewhat amused at the way he was unabashedly staring at her chest.
She leaned forward, gasping first at the change of angle…gasping louder as he lifted his head to pull one of her nipples into his mouth. She lost her rhythm for a split second as he sucked hard, then held it between his teeth and licked it. He took the opportunity of the momentary lapse to roll her back over, hooking his right arm under her left knee and increasing his thrusts.
He registered the questioning tone in her voice and gave her nipple a final hard suck before releasing it with an audible pop. He lifted his head and smiled at her.
“I’m going to come soon. I want to bring you with me…and I need room to…pull out.”
She moaned loudly, gripping his sides as she stared up at him. “You can…come inside…”
He inhaled sharply, as if the thought of coming inside of her was nearly his undoing. He reached down and pressed his thumb against her clit, rubbing the hardened nub as he watched her throw her head back and groan his name. He felt her inner walls begin to quiver around him and he leaned down, moving his mouth next to her ear.
“Watching you come underneath me is, without a doubt, the most sublime vision I’ve ever had the pleasure of seeing.”
Her hands moved to his back, her nails raking over his skin as she tried to pull him even closer. Her quivers turned to ripples and she suddenly screamed his name as her orgasm crashed over her. He pushed himself up quickly, his hands on either side of her shoulders, and watched her. Beads of sweat rolling down her neck, her skin flushed a deep pink, her mouth open…lips plump and utterly kissable…eyes partly open, glazed with passion. He felt her nails dig into his back, hard enough to possibly break the skin…and he cried her name as his own orgasm quickly approached.
She forced her eyes open and stared at him in wonder. His chest damp with sweat, his nipples hard, his head tilted back, his eyes clamped shut in exertion, his mouth uttering the most deliciously sinful things she thought she had ever heard as he came deep within her.
He panted heavily as he lowered his head, gently nuzzling her cheek before kissing her warmly. Her fingers trembled against his back as his softening cock slipped from her.
“Oh my god…that was…amazing.” She whispered, trying to catch her breath as he carefully lowered himself next to her.
He smiled and pulled her against his chest, kissing her lips again before wrapping his arms around her. “Oh, it really was…”
“Not really where I expected this to go tonight…” She added, looking up at him quickly when she felt him tense. “What I mean was…I wanted it to go here, I just thought maybe you’d be less…you know.”
“I kissed you, remember?”
“Yeah, when you were pissed off at the world and frustrated with me.”
He paused for just a moment and looked into her eyes, gently running his fingers through her hair. “I wanted this, Buffy. I’ve wanted this for a while now.”
“So…this wasn’t just sex, then?”
“Not to me.” He replied, lazily stroking her back.
“What do you want this to be?” She asked hesitantly.
He took a moment to collect his thoughts and then sighed softly. She bit her lip nervously, not really sure what that sigh actually meant.
“I rather think that I’m in love with you.” He stated softly, his voice much steadier than he expected. “With that in mind, I’d prefer for this to not be a casual experience. I’d like to take you to dinner, lunch, a movie…I’d like for us to explore the possibility of having a romantic relationship. But, that all hinges on one very important thing.”
“What’s that?” She asked on a whisper, obviously working though his admission.
“What do you want this to be?”
She rested her head on his shoulder as her fingers traced indistinguishable shapes on his chest. “A new beginning…a new chapter in a new book. One written specifically for us…by us.”
He smiled adoringly at her. “I like books.”
“I like you.” She whispered, leaning into him and placing a soft kiss on his lips. “In fact, to paraphrase…I’m pretty sure I’m in love with you.”
“You are?” He asked, his eyes sparkling.
“I wouldn’t have come looking for you if I wasn’t.” She replied, her fingers finding the scar next to his nipple again. “So…a brother and a sister?”
He nodded, his smile bright on his face as he verbally began the new chapter in the new book.
They could write it all down later.
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