Title: Things Said Badly in Anger
Timeline: Season 4…after Buffy began working with the Initiative, but before Adam.
Synopsis: Giles has had enough and Buffy is there to see his anger. Is there anything that can fix the rift between them?
Notes: Special thanks to wyvernwolf for her wonderful beta work!
Giles cursed softly under his breath when the knock sounded on his front door. A large clump of mud fell from his ruined jeans and landed on the hardwood floor. He cursed again, this time a little louder.
He swung the door open to find his Slayer standing on his front stoop, arms crossed over her chest and her eyes darkened with barely controlled anger. She spoke quickly in a clipped tone.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
Giles narrowed his eyes. “Good evening to you, Buffy. To what do I owe the joyous occasion of your visit this evening?”
Buffy rolled her eyes and slid past him, careful to avoid brushing against his muddy clothes. She leaned against the back of his leather couch, roamed her eyes over his ruined clothing and shook her head in displeasure.
“Willow told me you were going out to hunt down a demon tonight. Did you at least kill it? Or did you just decide to roll around in the mud?” Though she was leaning against the couch, she wasn’t relaxed. Her muscles tensed as she glared at him.
He briefly wondered if her tone actually carried the tinge of worry he had detected. Instead of commenting on it, he slammed the door shut and took two steps towards her. “And why, pray tell…why the hell would you care whether or not I killed it?”
Her eyes widened in surprise at his angry tone. “You’re mad at me? You go out and put yourself in danger, get all muddy, and you’re mad at me?”
“Mad? No, I’m not mad.” He stared into her eyes, his darkening with a rage she had only seen once before. “I’m bloody furious.”
“What?” Her voice rose as she felt her own anger begin to grow and she took a step forward. “What did I do to make you furious?”
He shook his head and moved past her towards the kitchen. He gave an exasperated sigh and ground his words out, doing nothing to hide the fact that he was beyond angry. “Why did I go out there tonight, Buffy?”
She shrugged her shoulder. “Because you’re impatient?”
He slammed the kettle onto the counter, denting the edge of the kettle. “No! Because tonight was the last night it could be killed before it started inflicting serious damage. If you bothered to check your bloody answering machine once in a while instead of playing with your group of toy soldiers, you’d fucking know that.”
“You left a message?” She asked quietly, taken aback by his outburst.
He snorted as he filled the kettle with water and dropped it onto the stove with a loud metallic thud. “A message? No. A message every night for the past week. I didn’t bother leaving one tonight, because…what was the point? I should have given up after the third, but…”
He shook his head in disgust. “So, yes. I’m furious with you, Buffy. And I have every right to be.”
“It could’ve killed you!”
“Yes, it very well could have. Not that you would have known about it until – ”
“Don’t! Don’t say that!” She quickly moved to the counter, gripping the edge as her eyes glistened.
He was sure that he heard concern in her voice this time, however his eyes sparked with fury. “Why not? Because it’s the truth?”
“Giles, I – ”
“Go home, Buffy. Or go to…Riley. Or…” His hand trembled visibly as he shoved the kettle off the eye when it began to whistle. “Just…leave.”
He clenched his jaw and stared into her eyes, the pain in his disguised by the anger raging from him. “You haven’t cared in months. You only come to me if your commandos can’t figure out what they need to do. Don’t start pretending you care now.”
He stormed out of the kitchen, the kettle forgotten, and stomped up the stairs. He paused on the landing and looked down at her. “I’m sure you can show yourself out. It’s the one thing you’ve been very good at lately. Goodnight, Buffy.”
She stared up towards the loft, unable to get her feet moving. She had never experienced this side of Giles before. Sure, she had seen him angry…had even seen him in a rage once or twice. But, it was never directed towards her…at least not to this magnitude.
She felt her sadness and regret fill her heart. She clenched her fists, suddenly angry with herself for making him feel this way. She tilted her head, listening to the noises coming from upstairs. She heard him grumbling, but couldn’t make out what he was saying. She thought about his words again and realized, to her dismay, that he was right.
He was angry with her…and he had every right to be.
She glanced at the door and shook her head, refusing to leave with them both angry. Feeling an intense urge to try to make things right, she purposefully made her way to the stairs. She took a deep breath when she reached the top and stepped into his bedroom.
“Giles…” She said cautiously.
“For fuck’s sake, Buffy!” He groaned in annoyance as he spun around to face her.
His shirt was gone, thrown into the corner of the room. His boots had been tossed to the side. He stood there, staring at her, in only a pair of mudcaked jeans.
“ ‘For fuck’s sake’? I’m not sure I’ve ever heard you say that before.” She crossed her arms, refusing to avert her eyes from his.
He said nothing for a moment, just stood there and glared at her. “I told you to leave.”
“Yeah, but…” She offered him a gentle smile. “I never listen to you.”
He rolled his eyes in annoyance. “Your cute routine isn’t going to make this go away this time, Buffy.”
“That’s not what – ” She protested quickly, softening her voice.
“I’ve had enough.” He spoke evenly, lowering his voice but still keeping an edge to it.
She swallowed nervously. “Enough of me?”
He averted his eyes briefly and bit his lip before continuing, the sadness in his voice resonating clearly in the room. “Enough of being taken advantage of. Enough of being treated as nothing more than a research tool. Enough of being a fucking library. I’ve had enough.”
“Giles, I never meant – ” She shook her head and stepped towards him, her eyes widening in panic as she realized how deeply she had hurt him in the past.
“You never mean to, Buffy. That’s the issue here. I’m human…I have feelings and emotions, contrary to your obvious belief. I’m not some toy that you can keep on a shelf for months at a time and then play with when you get bored.” He didn’t bother hiding his frustration.
She looked down at the floor and sighed heavily, a sad tone in her voice as she spoke. “Do you have any idea how I would’ve felt if you had been hurt tonight?”
“No. I imagine you would’ve been slightly sad once you found out. But, you would’ve gotten on with your life fairly quickly.” He paused for a moment before continuing in a nonchalant manner. “You’ve always been good at bouncing back from adversity.”
She looked back up quickly, her eyes brimming with tears. “Slightly sad? You think I’d be slightly sad? My God, the thought of something happening to you kills me. I’d be devastated, Giles…not slightly sad.”
He turned his back, knowing that if he watched her cry he’d give in. He allowed his sarcasm to drip from his words. “Yes, because that’s the sentiment I receive from your…lack of acknowledgement. Yes, I can see how you’d be devastated.”
She wiped her eyes and gritted her teeth against the anger flooding through her. “Fuck you.”
He spun around, his eyes sparking once more. “Excuse me?”
She pointed her finger at him and narrowed her eyes as her anger enveloped her once again. “I said fuck you. You have no idea – ”
He took a step forward, interrupting her impending tirade. “If I have no idea, it’s only your fault. You’ve shown me absolutely nothing over the past few months. Tell me, Buffy…is avoidance intended to show me how much you care about my wellbeing? Is it intended to show me you’d be devastated if something happened to me?”
He took a deep breath in an attempt to calm himself. “If you were injured or…worse…what do you think would happen to me?”
She lowered her eyes and spoke softly. “You’d cave in.”
“Yes. And how do you know this? Do you know this because I avoid you at every possible opportunity?” He reigned in his anger, inadvertently allowing his pain to be heard.
“No.” She wiped a tear from her cheek.
“How do you know?” He hardened his voice, realizing that he had lowered his guard momentarily.
When she remained silent, he stood directly in front of her and grasped her upper arms, not hiding the frustration in his voice. “How do you fucking know?”
“Because you’ve always dropped everything to come to me.” She sniffled lightly. “And…you would give your life to protect me.”
“And what have you done for me?” He released his hold on her, but didn’t step back. “Besides belittle me in front of a lover, disregard basically everything I’ve asked of you, lie to me, or just not tell me things I need to know in order to perform my duties properly…what have you done for me that would show me that you would be devastated?”
“I…” She sniffled again. “I don’t know.”
“Hm. And I’m just supposed to take you at your word with no evidence to support it?” He shook his head sadly. “To be fairly honest, I’m surprised that you haven’t been seriously injured in the past few months. You haven’t been training…your patrols have been more about groping sessions with your boyfriend or playing games with your soldiers…”
“I have been training!” She interjected quickly, shaking her head indignantly as she began to pace in front of him. “I train every day with Riley! I’ve been keeping up with everything!”
“Oh, have you?” His eyes flickered with disbelief.
She furrowed her brow and stood up straight, staring into his eyes. “Yes.”
He gave her a slight nod and, with no warning, struck out with a hard punch with his left hand. His fist connected quickly with her shoulder, knocking her to the ground. She scrambled to her feet, rubbing her shoulder.
“Giles! What the hell! That hurt!”
His chuckle held no amusement. “Yes. And had you been training properly, you would’ve seen it coming in time to deflect the blow.”
Her mind registered the almost malicious chuckle. Another tear fell as she realized exactly how close she was to losing him completely from her life. “You hit me.”
He shook his head. “I was testing you.” He turned around and made his way to his dresser. “You failed.”
He spun back around suddenly, raising his hand and capturing her fist in mid-punch. He grinned as her eyes widened in surprise. He pushed her back and shook his head.
“You see, I’ve been training.” His lips curled into a smirk.
He advanced on her slowly. “Would you care for a sparring session right now, Buffy?”
She slipped into a defensive stance and narrowed her eyes. “You caught me off-guard before.”
He circled her, his muscles tensed for attack. “You are the Slayer. You should never be off-guard. Not even with me…your pathetically old and gross ex-Watcher who would still die for you.”
She lowered her hands and tilted her head. “Still?”
He took advantage of her lapse in concentration and grabbed her, spinning her around until her back was flush against his chest. He wrapped his left arm around her waist and used his right hand to forcefully tilt her head, baring her neck.
She gasped in surprise, struggling for a moment before he lowered his mouth until it was millimetres from her skin and whispered softly.
“If I were a vampire, you’d be dead now.”
She shivered as she felt his warm breath ghost across her skin. “But you’re not.”
He chuckled sadly. “Would it be easier to hate me if I were? Would it justify your recent actions?”
She felt his heart beating heavily against her back. “Giles…I don’t hate you. I’ve never hated you.”
“And yet…you cannot bear to be in my presence for more than five minutes.” He suddenly released her, but didn’t move away from her. “Which begs the question…why are you still here?”
She shivered again and leaned against his chest. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, suddenly very aware of the fact that Giles was indeed a man. She fought the sudden urge to turn around and wrap her arms around him. She could feel the heat radiating from his body, smell the heady musk of…arousal? Her eyes snapped open and she took a shaky breath.
His heart began to race as she leaned back against him. He felt his anger begin to dissipate, only to be replaced with desire. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He ached to wrap his arms around her and hold her tightly against him. Instead, he took a step back and sighed softly.
“Why are you still here, Buffy? What more do you want from me?”
There was something about his tone that affected her more than she expected. There was sadness…resignation…desperation in those two questions that he had softly asked her. She could still hear the anger and pain, but those emotions were now muted. She turned slowly and looked up at him.
He met her eyes and shook his head slowly. His voice trembled slightly as he tried to conceal his pain.
“I can’t do this any longer, Buffy. I can’t stand by and…be treated like a doormat. I also can’t not help you when you ask. I’ve tried…and it just doesn’t work. I subject myself to the pain you put me through so thoughtlessly and I have to ask myself why. The answer is so clear, yet so muddled. And I can’t do this to myself anymore.”
Her eyes welled with tears as it suddenly occurred to her that he was considering leaving. Leaving her, leaving Sunnydale, leaving…everything. Her voice quavered with fear as she looked into his eyes. “What are you saying?”
“I haven’t been your Watcher in well over a year. It’s clear that the only need you have of me is research. And that is only occasionally. You no longer need my assistance…or my protection. And my presence here is only – ” He cleared his throat and looked away from her as the tremble in his voice increased.
“You’re leaving?” She whispered softly as a tear rolled down her cheek.
“This is slowly killing me, Buffy.” His shoulders slumped as he took a step back and then turned, walking towards the window.
She walked over to him, reaching out only to pull her hand back right before she touched him. She raised her hand to her face and wiped the moisture from her cheek. “Giles, no…I’ll be better. I’ll be a better Slayer, a better Buffy. You can stay and we’ll start training again and – ”
“And, what Buffy? Things will be just as they were?” He shook his head and turned to face her, lowering his voice to a gravelled whisper. “Things will never be as they were. People change, emotions turn, feelings grow. If I stay here, it will eventually break me.”
She tilted her head slightly, confusion showing clearly in her eyes. “What will break you?”
He smiled sadly. “It’s of no importance to you. You…you should go now.”
“We need to talk this through. Please – ”
He looked up and exhaled softly. “Please, Buffy. The anger is gone for now. If…if you stay, it will only resurface.” His eyes glistened lightly. “I’m tired of yelling.”
She stared into his eyes for a moment before she lowered her hand and turned, quickly making her way down the stairs. When he heard the door close softly behind her, he sat down on the bed, not caring that his still-damp jeans soiled the comforter.
The Following Day…
past nine, there was a knock on the door. Giles sighed heavily and plastered a
small smile on his face as he walked to the door. At this time of day, the only
person who would be knocking on his door would be
“Buffy.” He stated quietly.
Noticing his immediate change in demeanor, Buffy looked into his eyes. “Were you expecting someone else?”
He shook his head slowly. “I was expecting no one. Least of all, you.”
She bit her lip nervously, the tone of his voice telling her that their issues were not magically cured overnight. “Can I come in?”
He stood in the doorway, staring down at her. He was almost shocked to realize how quickly his anger was rebuilding. “This isn’t a good time, Buffy.”
She lowered her eyes, staring at the ground, as she shifted her weight. “You’re still angry with me.”
He nearly wanted to smile at her softly spoken statement. Instead, he clenched his jaw and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Yes, well…we didn’t exactly settle the issue last night.”
She looked up at him, her remorse clearly showing in her tired eyes. “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, Giles. I mean…real thinking.” When he didn’t respond, she sighed. “Can I please come in? I want to talk this out. I don’t…I don’t like where we are right now.”
His eyes narrowed briefly as his mind analyzed her words. He noticed…something…flash in her eyes and gave her a quick nod, stepping to the side to allow her entry. “Nor do I, Buffy.”
Buffy walked into the apartment, turning to face him as he closed the door. Her voice was weary as she spoke.
“How long have you been angry with me?”
Giles gave an exasperated sigh. “Buffy…”
She shook her head quickly. “No, this is important. How long?”
He moved past her and into the kitchen, automatically putting the kettle on to boil. “Months.”
She sat down on a stool at the breakfast bar and stared at the countertop. “But, you never said anything.”
He scoffed unhappily and leaned against the sink. “You haven’t exactly been around for me to discuss this with you. Of course, if you had been…”
She looked up when he trailed off. “Finish it.”
He crossed his arms over his chest and stared into her eyes. “If you had been, I daresay this anger wouldn’t exist to this degree.”
Buffy took a deep breath and slowly nodded. “Yeah, that’s what I came up with too when I was doing my thinking thing.”
Giles raised an eyebrow at her as the kettle began to boil. “Tea?”
She shook her head, refusing to drop her gaze from his. “Not right now, maybe later.”
He shrugged a shoulder, turned around and pulled down one mug from the cabinet. “And this… ‘thinking thing’…what did it consist of?”
She watched him as he meticulously prepared his tea, taking a sip as he met her eyes. She twisted a ring on her finger, an act that he recognized easily as nervousness.
“Perhaps it would be best to postpone this conversation until a later date.” He offered quietly as he made his way out of the kitchen.
Her eyes followed him as he sat down on the couch. She shook her head quickly, sliding from the stool and taking a seat on the other end of the leather sofa.
“No, it’s a conversation that needs to be now.”
The muscles in his back tensed, but he forced himself to sit back, not letting her know exactly how tense he was. “Then, maybe you should answer my question.”
“You’re leaving.” She stated simply.
“I can’t stay. Not like this.” He took a sip of his tea, turning his head to meet her eyes. “This is what you thought about? My leaving?”
She chewed her lip, searching for the words floating just beyond her grasp. “More than that. I…I need to know what will break you if you stay.”
He averted his eyes and stared at the mug in his hands. “It isn’t important, Buffy.”
She exhaled slowly, speaking quickly before her courage ran out. “I think it is. And…I think that the ‘what’ isn’t really a ‘what’, but more like a ‘who’. And something in my head is telling me that the ‘who’ might be me.”
He turned his head slowly, his question held silently in his eyes. She offered him a nervous smile and shrugged her shoulder. “I did a lot of thinking last night. Actually, all night…and all morning. Skipped classes to do my thinking.”
When he opened his mouth, she shook her head in a silent request to allow her to continue. He closed his mouth and gave her a nod.
She ran her fingers through her hair and swallowed the sudden lump in her throat. “I know I’ve hurt you. I’ve been completely wrapped up in other things and just haven’t made time for you. I’ve been extremely thoughtless and selfish, but…I swear, I never meant to hurt you. It doesn’t change the fact that I have…too many times to count. But, I – ”
“Stop now, please.” When she complied, he took a deep breath and mumbled softly. “Like I said…the answer is so clear, yet so muddled.”
He turned towards her and shook his head. “You are correct about the ‘who’. However…your reasons are not entirely correct.”
He ran his hand through his hair and moved to stand up. She reached out, placing her hand on his arm in a request for him to stay. His eyes darkened as he looked at her, his anger suddenly reappearing.
“Please…remove your hand.”
Hearing the warning tone in his voice, she complied. Her brow furrowed in confusion as she stared at him. “What’s wrong, Giles?”
He quickly stood up and began to pace. She recognized the movement as one of frustration. He gestured towards nothing in particular and removed his glasses. “I’m rather sure you have no understanding of the real issues here.”
She watched him carefully, her confusion growing in intensity. “What?”
“It isn’t your fault really. You don’t know what you do to me. I’m not even sure you care enough to know. Maybe I shouldn’t be angry with you over this because…you are simply unaware.” He glanced at her and continued pacing. “But, I am…angry with you.”
He stopped pacing and tilted his head in thought. “Or maybe it’s that I’m angry with myself and I’m taking it out on you.”
“Giles…are you okay? I mean…did the demon do anything to you last night?” She asked hesitantly.
“Other than throw me in the mud? No.” He scoffed lightly.
She bit her bottom lip nervously and stood up. “You’re worrying me. You’re not acting like yourself.”
“What, like a stuffy British librarian? No, I would imagine not.”
She frowned as she registered the sarcastic tone of his voice. Running through a list of possibilities, she snapped her fingers as she stood up.
“Ethan? Is Ethan around?”
Giles snorted. “Ask your boyfriend. He would know better than I would.”
“Giles…” She started, her voice tinged with annoyance.
“This isn’t demonic possession or a spell. This is me…this is what frustration does to me.” He pushed past her and began pacing once more.
Buffy gave an exasperated groan. “Why are you frustrated?”
He turned suddenly and stared at her, his eyes sparking as they had the previous night. “You. You frustrate the living hell out of me!”
She threw her hands up in the air. “I told you I’d be – ”
He interrupted her again, clenching his fist at his side. “Oh, for fuck’s sake!”
Her eyes narrowed. “Again with that cheery statement. What do you want me to do?”
He glared at her for a minute and then grabbed her by the shoulders. Without saying another word, he quickly lowered his head and covered her mouth with his. Her lips parted in surprise and he used the opportunity to thrust his tongue inside.
He pushed her backwards until her hip pressed against the edge of the table. With no effort, he lifted her and sat her on it, pushing himself between her legs. She groaned into his mouth when she felt his erection press against her core.
He pulled away suddenly and took a step back, his eyes conveying a myriad of emotions…anger, pain, lust. He shook his head slowly. “You…you should…leave.”
She raised her hand, touching her fingertips to her still-tingling lips. She looked into his darkened eyes, easily reading each emotion in them. She felt her heart pounding in her chest as he turned away from her.
“You’re frustrated because…you want to have sex with me?”
“No. Yes. No…” He dragged his hand through his hair and paced nervously back and forth in front of the table.
She slid from the table and rubbed the palm of her hand over her thigh in a worried manner. “Which is it? Yes or no?”
He stopped pacing and stared at her. “Both.”
She exhaled slowly and took a step forward. “You’re confusing me. Just talk to me Giles.”
He collected his thoughts and took a deep breath. As he spoke, his voice held all of his pain and desire for her. His eyes glistened lightly as he finally bared his heart to her.
“I’m frustrated because I want you. I want to kiss you. I want to take you to my bed and make love to you all day. And…I’m frustrated because I want more. I want you in my life, Buffy. It’s not just sex that I want. I want…everything.”
He averted his eyes from her and lowered his voice. “And I know it will never be.”
She licked her lips and tilted her head thoughtfully. “You are such an intelligent man. But…you don’t know everything.”
He glanced at her before moving to the couch and slumping onto the cushions. “I know that I rarely see you. I know that you’re in a relationship. I know how you view me.”
She smiled sadly and made her way to him. “You also know that I wasn’t exactly passive when you kissed me. And…you don’t really know how I view you.”
He glanced up at her as she stood in front of him. “Sometimes people return kisses when they’re caught off-guard. It doesn’t mean anything.”
“Sometimes.” Buffy agreed softly. “But, not every time. Sometimes people return kisses because they’ve secretly wanted the same thing for a very long time.”
“You…need to leave now, Buffy.” His voice hardened once more. “I will not sit here and listen to you say what you think I want to hear. I’ve already divulged more information than I should have. Don’t toy with me.”
She knelt in front of him, placing her hands on his knees. “”I’m saying what I’m feeling, Giles. And…I’m not toying with you.”
She stared into his eyes and continued. “There are reasons why I’ve behaved the way I have this year. I thought it would be easier for me if I didn’t spend as much time with you. If I started dating again. You were dating…so, I thought if it worked for you, it might work for me.”
“I wasn’t dating anyone.” He scoffed lightly.
“Olivia?” She asked gently, rubbing her thumbs along the insides of his knees.
“No dates. Just comfort.” He replied, his breath hitching slightly.
“And how did that work out for you?” She smiled as she slid her hands up his thighs.
“Not as well as I’d hoped.” He covered her hands with his, stilling her movements. He inhaled shakily and licked his lips. “Stop now. This is not a game you want to play with me.”
She nodded and pulled her hands out from under his. He closed his eyes as he tried to regain control of his emotions. When she slid onto his lap and draped her arms over his shoulders, his eyes snapped open to find her smiling shyly at him.
She raised her hand and placed her palm against his cheek. “I’m not playing a game, Giles.”
He studied her eyes, shaking his head when he saw the desire that mirrored his own. “We’re not doing this, Buffy.”
Confusion flickered in her eyes. “I thought – ”
He sighed as he reached up and pulled her hand from his face. “I have never allowed myself to be the other man in a woman’s life. And…as much as I want this…you…I refuse to start now. You may have everything else, but I retain my pride. You need to leave. Now.”
She stared at him, reading the absolute truth in his eyes. She lowered her eyes slowly, as if she suddenly realized that she still had a boyfriend.
“I’m sorry…I…I should have a talk with Riley.” She exhaled softly and carefully eased off of his lap. She picked up her bag and looked down at him. “I’ll…be back later.”
He cleared his throat softly. “Buffy…don’t come back for a few days.”
“What?” She whispered, her eyes widening.
“You need to think things through…as do I. You have choices to make and I can’t help you with those.” He looked up and met her eyes. “And should you come back before those choices are final…I’m not sure I’ll have the strength to stop again.”
She nodded slowly and took a deep breath. “Don’t leave town, Giles. At least…not until we’ve finished this conversation.”
Without another word, she quickly fled the apartment. His eyes closed as the front door closed behind her. He rubbed the side of his neck, his eyes opening and resting on the bottle of scotch in the liquor cabinet.
He shook his head and stood, deciding on a cold shower instead of a drink.
Three days later, he opened the door to find a dejected-looking Riley Finn standing on his doorstep. The young man offered Giles a sad smile.
“Hi, Mr. Giles.”
“Riley. Good afternoon.” He frowned slightly, immediately glancing over Riley’s shoulder in search of Buffy. Not finding her in the vicinity, he exhaled slowly. “What can I do for you?”
his hand nervously through his hair. “Have you seen Buffy? She, uh…she said a
few things the other day and then just…left. I’ve been looking for her for…a
Giles narrowed his eyes and spoke slowly. “She came by Tuesday morning, but…I haven’t seen her since.”
“Oh…” Riley glanced around quickly, lowering his voice. “I think something’s wrong with her.”
“Wrong?” Giles stared at him, concern showing in his green eyes. “What do you think is wrong? And, why – ”
“She broke up with me.” Riley admitted softly. “She just…said it wasn’t working and that…it would be better if we just ended it.”
Giles’ eyes widened in surprise. Of all the things he had expected the young man to say, this was not one of them. “Oh.”
Riley took a deep breath and gestured back towards the road. “I’m going to keep looking for her. If you see her, could you let her know I’m looking for her?”
Giles nodded numbly. “Yes, ah…of course.”
With no further words, Riley walked away with slumped shoulders. Giles watched until Riley was out of sight before reaching for his car keys.
A long drive to clear his head was definitely in order now.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Two hours later, Giles walked through his front door and tossed his keys onto the desk. He dragged his fingers through his hair, his mind no more clearer than it was before he started his drive.
His eyes snapped in the direction of the soft voice. Finding the owner of said voice leaning against the mantel. “Buffy.”
She smiled shyly. “I, um…we need to talk. Again.”
“Uh…yes.” He glanced towards the kitchen. “Tea?”
She shook her head slowly and sat down on the couch. “Just…let’s talk?”
He cleared his throat and sat down on the far end of the couch, turning to look at her. “Riley came by earlier. He, uh…he was looking for you.”
“Yeah, figured he would be.” She narrowed her eyes slightly. “I’m not sure why he’d come here though.”
Giles looked down at his hands. “Willow suggested you could possibly be here.”
“Oh.” She replied softly. “So, uh…you know? That I broke up with him?”
“Yes.” He looked into her eyes and gave her a soft nod. “Though, I’m not really sure why.”
Buffy took a deep breath, averting her eyes for only a moment. “I…don’t want you to be the other man either.” She returned her gaze to him and smiled nervously. “I mean…if you still want…”
“Buffy…I…what are you saying?” He asked softly, an uncertain tone in his voice.
She moved closer to him, resting her hand on his chest. Her smile shone in her eyes when she felt his heart begin to race. “I’m saying that I was telling you the truth the other day. I’m not toying with you and this isn’t a game to me. You were right in stopping us…it wouldn’t have been fair to you…or to Riley. It’s…”
She sighed softly, sliding her hand up his chest to cup his cheek. “You’re the man I want. And you deserve more than to be the other man. You’re the…main man. The…only man.”
Giles swallowed thickly, involuntarily leaning into her touch. “And…you’re sure about this? Positively sure?”
She nodded slowly, trailing her thumb along his ear. “I’m completely and utterly positive.”
Her free hand moved to his chest, slowly unbuttoning his shirt. Her fingertips grazed across his chest as she spread his shirt open. Her smile grew when she heard his soft gasp.
“You okay?” She whispered softly.
“I…we shouldn’t rush – ”
She moved until she was straddling his lap, lightly running her fingers through the hair on his chest. “Is it really rushing if we’ve both wanted this for so long?”
He stared into her eyes and, finding nothing but sincerity and desire, moved his hands to her hips. “I’m rather sure it is.” When her fingertip brushed across his hardened nipple, he groaned softly. “I’m also rather sure that I’m finding I don’t care.”
She smiled at his words and licked her lips. “You know…as angry as you were the other night…” She sighed as his fingers edged under the hem of her shirt. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything quite as sexy as you in a pair of jeans and nothing else…”
She leaned forward and placed warm kisses across his bare chest. When she reached his nipple, she laved it with her tongue. Hearing his groan, she smiled and pulled back.
“I wanted to do that then…”
He returned her smile and moved his hands up, pulling her shirt over her head. “Probably wouldn’t have been the wisest move.”
He dropped her shirt to the floor and inhaled sharply as she reached behind her to unclasp her bra.
“Why not?” She asked, her tone husky as she pulled the undergarment free and tossed it on the floor.
She shifted on his lap as she allowed her fingers to continue their exploration of his chest. He groaned, moving his hands to her hips quickly to hold her still.
“I…I would have thrown you on the bed and fucked you.” His lust laden voice rumbled as his fingers began to rub circles against her hips.
She grinned and pushed his shirt off his shoulders. “And where would the bad have been in that?”
He let go of her hips long enough to pull his arms out of the sleeves. She trailed her index finger down his chest, stopping at the waistband of his jeans. She pulled the button free and, hearing his soft growl, looked into his eyes.
“You didn’t answer me.” She unzipped the fly and grinned as his eyes began to glaze. “What would have been bad about that?”
“I…” He swallowed thickly and licked his lips as her finger traced the outline of his erection through his boxers. “I’d much prefer to make love to you…”
“Why?” She whispered as she leaned forward and pulled his earlobe into her mouth.
“Because…” He arched his hips, craving more contact. “God, Buffy…I love you.”
She released his earlobe and leaned back, her heart racing. “You…love me?”
He lifted his hand to her cheek, gently rubbing his thumb against her skin. He nodded slowly, his chest heaving. “Yes.”
She chewed her bottom lip lightly, leaning into his touch. “Like…love me love me?”
He nodded again, sliding his hand to the back of her neck and gently pulling her towards him. “As in…I’m in love with you, Buffy.”
She stared into his eyes as her own began to mist. “Giles?”
“I…” He shook his head slowly as he watched the tears form in her eyes. “We should…stop.”
“Why?” She whispered softly, her confusion returning quickly.
He watched as a tear fell onto her cheek. He sighed sadly, using his thumb to brush the moisture from her skin. “There are so many reasons.”
“You love me.” She stated quietly, as if she was confirming the fact for herself.
“Yes.” He closed his eyes as she shifted on his lap.
Feeling the hardness underneath her, she smiled and leaned down to kiss his lips tenderly. She ended the kiss, pulling back only far enough to speak.
“You want me.”
He forced his eyes open, sliding his hands back to her hips and holding her tightly against his erection. His eyes were glazed with passion, his voice gravelled with desire.
“Those reasons are enough to say no to stopping.” She reached out and traced his bottom lip with her fingertip. Her breath hitched as his tongue darted out and flicked across the pad of her finger.
He swallowed and looked into her eyes. “Reasons enough for me, yes. But…you – ”
She offered him a smile and reached down, unbuttoning and unzipping her jeans, effectively stopping him in mid-thought. He licked his lips as she pulled his left hand from her hip and sat up on her knees. Resting her left hand on the back of the couch, she carefully slipped his hand into her open jeans.
He groaned when he felt her heat. His groan deepened when he felt the moisture that had dampened her underwear. She ran her right hand up his arm and across his shoulder until her fingers rested under his chin. She rocked her hips against his hand as she gently tilted his head up towards her.
When his eyes met hers, he was mildly surprised to find her eyes glassy with desire. She whimpered softly as his fingers rubbed her through the damp material.
“I…have reasons for not stopping too, Giles.” She leaned down and ran her tongue over his lip.
A groan rumbled in his chest as he shifted his hand, slipping his fingers underneath the silk as he pulled her tongue into his mouth. He sucked greedily on her tongue, his fingers sliding through the moisture to find her clitoris.
She broke the kiss quickly, a mutual groan resonating in the room. Hers from the pleasure felt from his fingers rubbing her throbbing nub, his from the heat emanating from her core. He looked up and into her eyes as he increased the pressure.
“You…are so hot…so…wet…” It was taking all of his self-control to not throw her onto the couch and cover her body with his.
She gasped as his fingers moved through her folds and moved her left hand to his shoulder, gripping tightly. She ground herself against his hand wantonly and moaned his name. He gave her a soft smile, slipping one finger inside of her and stroking her inner wall.
“What do you want, Buffy?” He asked in a breathless tone.
Her hand tightened on his shoulder as she began to tremble against his hand. “God…”
He lightly ran the fingers of his free hand over a hardened nipple. “Tell me…”
Her darkened hazel eyes stared at him lustfully. “Bed…take me to bed…”
He gave her a quick nod, sliding his hand out of her pants as he bent his head to her breast, covering her hardened nipple with his mouth. He slid forward on the couch, wrapping his arms around her as he began to suckle gently. She gave a pleasurable groan, holding onto him tightly as he stood and made his way to the stairs. When he let go of her nipple, she whimpered.
He chuckled softly. “It wouldn’t do for me to trip on the stairs. I’d like to get you into bed safely.”
“Hurry.” She whispered huskily.
With a brief nod, he quickly made his way up the stairs and stepped into the bedroom. When his forward motion paused, she put her hand on the side of his face.
“Second thoughts?” Her concern was evident in her voice.
“Hm?” He looked into her eyes and smiled. “No. I was just thinking.”
She grinned and flicked her tongue against his bottom lip. “I think you think way too much sometimes.”
He licked his lip and nodded. “Perhaps.”
He chuckled softly and walked over to the bed. He placed his left knee on the mattress and gently lowered their bodies. He leaned down and kissed her lips as her legs tightened around him, pressing her core against his erection. He groaned and rocked his hips against her.
He trailed his lips down her neck, his tongue flicking against her skin. When his mouth reached her collarbone, he nipped lightly with his teeth. Her nails scratched across his shoulder as she fought for the words in her mind.
“Oh, God…Giles…” She breathed heavily in his ear. “I lo…”
He jerked his head up quickly and placed two fingers over her lips, worry in his eyes. “Don’t…”
He read her silent question in her eyes and swallowed. “Don’t say it unless you mean it, Buffy. You know how I feel about you, that isn’t going to change. I can handle you not saying it right now. What would hurt me is for you to say it, but not feel it. So, please…please don’t say it right now.”
When she nodded slowly, he moved his hand and untangled himself from her legs. When she groaned in protest, he grinned and stood up next to the bed. His breath caught in his chest when he looked at her. Her chest was bare, her hair curled around her face, her stomach quivering in anticipation.
He reached down and pulled her shoes and socks from her feet as he kicked his own to the side. He slid his hands over the soft denim of her jeans, across her shins, over her thighs. She gasped as he hooked his fingers under the waistband. He licked his lips and began to slowly pull them and her underwear down her thighs.
“Buffy…look at me.” His voice was heavy with desire.
She opened her eyes and met his intense gaze. He removed the clothing from her legs and dropped the items to the floor. His eyes darted over her body before locking on hers once more.
“You…are lovely.” He whispered as he slowly sank to his knees beside the bed.
His hands grasped her hips and gently pulled her towards him. Her eyes flickered with worry briefly…but Giles was still observant enough to pick up on it.
“What is it, Buffy?” He whispered softly as his hands soothingly rubbed her thighs.
“I…” She sighed and pushed herself up until she was propped up on her elbows. “I don’t like it…”
He rubbed his thumbs in small circles over her knees. “May I ask why?”
She shrugged her shoulder. “It just…doesn’t do anything for me. Plus…it kinda hurts.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Hurts?”
She blushed lightly. “Yeah…especially the biting…”
“Biting? He…bites you?” His hands tightened on her legs.
She shook her head quickly, reading the rising anger in his eyes. “Nibbles, really. But, I don’t like it…”
Giles shook his head in disgust. “No, I wouldn’t imagine you would.” He took a deep breath, inhaling her scent. “Would you let me show you what it should feel like?”
She bit her lip nervously. He smiled in understanding and pushed himself from the floor. He quickly removed his remaining clothing and stretched out beside of her.
“It’s alright, Buffy. I would never persist with something that you’re uncomfortable with.” He grazed his fingertips over the sensitive skin of her abdomen and leaned into her, brushing his lips across hers. “However, I hope that one day you might change your mind. Because I have the distinct feeling that tasting you would be sublime.”
“You do?” She whispered, shuddering as his fingers moved further down, caressing her mound.
“Mm-hm.” He smiled, leaning over her to tenderly kiss her breast. “To bring you to orgasm with my lips and tongue…” He lifted his head and inhaled deeply. “Yes…I do think sublime would be the correct word to use.”
Her eyes closed as his fingers slipped into her wet folds. She blindly reached out and wrapped her hand around his erection. He groaned softly, fighting the urge to thrust into her hand. He lowered his head, pulling her nipple into his mouth. He held it gently between his teeth, flicking his tongue against it.
As she began to stroke his cock, he shifted his hand and slipped his middle finger inside of her. She tightened her grip on him as she bucked her hips towards his hand. He released her nipple and groaned loudly.
“Dear Lord, Buffy!”
Hearing the pained tone of his voice, her eyes snapped open. “Giles?”
“A little…tight…” He whimpered softly.
Her eyes widened and she instantly released him. “Oh, God…are you okay? I’m so sorry, I didn’t – ”
He offered her a reassuring smile, reaching down and replacing her hand on him. “I’m fine. Just…try to remember your strength, love.”
He left his hand covering hers, following her movements for a few gentle strokes before returning his hand to her warm folds. He easily slipped two fingers inside of her and smiled as he looked into her eyes.
“Alright?” He asked softly.
She nodded wordlessly, increasing her pace slightly. He closed his eyes briefly and shook his head.
“Slow down, Buffy.” His eyes reopened and met hers. “Take your time, we’re not in a race here.”
He smiled lovingly, brushing his thumb over her clitoris. “You’ve nothing to apologize for. I would just prefer not to rush this anymore than we already are.”
“I…” She suddenly let go of his erection and gripped his upper arm. “Oh my God…”
He grinned as he felt her inner muscles clamp down on his fingers. “That’s it…let go for me.”
He nuzzled her neck, nipping at the skin with his lips. He maintained a steady pace with his fingers, pushing her closer to the edge with each thrust. He rocked his hips, rubbing the head of his erection against her thigh.
“Giles…” She moaned breathlessly.
“Mm?” He smiled against her skin as she began to tremble beneath him.
He lifted his head immediately, covering her mouth with his and plunging his tongue into her mouth. Her fingers wound in his hair, holding him to her as she returned the kiss, sliding her tongue along his. When he felt her chest rumble with a groan, he broke from the kiss and smiled down at her.
“Giles…” She protested in frustration.
“I’m not stopping. I just want to hear you when you come.”
He increased his pace, rubbing his thumb in circles over her clit. Her fingers dug into his shoulder as she screamed his name, flooding his hand with her juices. He groaned in response, dropping his head to her shoulder and kissing her skin tenderly as he eased his fingers out of her.
Her hand trembled as she touched the side of his neck. He lifted his head and smiled before raising his hand and licking his fingers clean. Her eyes widened slightly in surprise at his action.
He chuckled softly. “You act as though you’ve never seen – ”
She cut him off quickly. “I haven’t. It normally gets wiped on the sheet.”
“Such a waste.” He leaned down and gave her a soft kiss. “I was right…you taste sublime.”
Tasting herself on his lips, she smiled shyly causing him to grin brightly. He shifted their bodies closer to the centre of the bed and draped his leg over hers. He propped himself up on his elbow and brushed the hair out of her face.
“I want to make love to you, Buffy. But…”
She narrowed her eyes when he paused. “But?”
He took a deep breath, trailing his hand down her ribcage. “But…if you’d rather stop now, I’ll understand.”
She reached up and traced her fingertip over his bottom lip. “Would you rather stop now?”
“No.” He kissed her fingertip. “I want you…make no mistake about it.”
She smiled, reaching down to rub her palm over his erection. “I can see that.”
“I love the way you touch me.” He whispered softly.
She grinned as she ran her thumb over the glans. “As long as I don’t squeeze too hard?”
His smile danced in his eyes. “Yes. But that…what you’re doing now…feels so nice.”
She licked her lips and looked into his eyes. “Know what would feel nicer?”
“Hm?” He moved his hand to her breast, his fingertips teasing her nipple.
She gasped at his light touch. “Please, Giles…”
“Tell me what you want, Buffy.”
“Do you want me to tell you?” She grabbed his shoulder and easily rolled him onto his back, following him until she was straddling his hips. “Or would you prefer I show you?”
His eyes darkened as his hands moved to her hips. “Showing is always nice.”
She rocked her hips, effectively dragging her wet core along his erection. He groaned softly, his hands tightening on her hips.
“Christ, that feels…” He stared into her eyes as she lifted her hips slightly. “Let me make love to you.”
She grinned and reached down, guiding him to her entrance. “After I make love to you…”
He closed his eyes in pleasure as she slowly sank down on him. When he was fully embedded, she rubbed his chest.
“Yes?” He answered throatily.
“Open your eyes.”
He swallowed thickly, opening his eyes and staring into hers. He watched in silence for a few moments as she gently rocked against him. He loosened his hold on her hips and she took complete advantage, quickly raising her body and then slamming back down.
“Dear Lord!” He gasped as she repeated the motion.
On her next plunge, he gripped her hips tightly and thrust upwards, meeting her halfway. She cried out in pleasure and continued her movements. On the seventh stroke, he groaned loudly and rolled them over until she was on her back underneath him.
He smiled at the surprise in her voice as he continued thrusting into her at the same pace she had started. “Wrap your legs around me…” When she complied with his softly spoken order, he closed his eyes. “God, yes…that’s it…”
She used her legs to help her match his thrusts with her own. He leaned over her, supporting his weight on his hands resting on either side of her head as he thrust harder against her. She reached up and dragged his head down for a kiss. He lost his rhythm slightly when she plunged her tongue into his mouth. He sucked hungrily as she matched the plunging of her tongue with his thrusts.
When he felt her inner walls begin to quiver around his cock, he tore his mouth away from hers and rested his forehead against hers. Her arms wrapped around his neck, her hands sliding over his sweat-slicked skin.
“Oh God…Giles…” She moaned loudly.
“Let me feel you come, Buffy…” He pressed harder into her. “Come for me…”
“So…close…” She panted heavily, bucking her hips towards his. “Harder…please…harder…”
He placed a soft kiss on her lips and then pushed himself up slightly, changing the angle of his penetration. He slammed his hips against hers, cursing under his breath when he felt her quivers become stronger.
He stared into her glazed eyes as he continued his hard thrusts. “I know you’re close…let go…”
“Giles…oh, God…” She groaned, her nails raking down his chest.
When her nail scraped over his nipple, he growled lustfully and doubled his efforts. Her quivers quickly turned to spasms and she screamed his name, flooding his thickening cock with her fluids. The sensation of her rippling muscles gripping him in convulsions added to the heat of her juices quickly sent him over the edge. He came forcefully, her name leaving his lips on a cry of delight.
She lowered her legs when she felt him shift, allowing him to fall onto the mattress by her side. He pulled her into his arms without hesitation, kissing her deeply. She broke the kiss when it became imperative that she get a deep breath of air into her lungs.
His hands lovingly caressed her skin as he smiled at her. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you look this stunning before.”
She snorted softly. “Yeah, right. I’m all sweaty and red…my hair’s all over the place. I’m sure I look like a million bucks.”
He touched her face gently as he whispered. “I think so.”
She shivered when she registered the cool air hitting her body. Giles chuckled and pulled the sheet over them.
“Mm-hm.” She snuggled up against him and placed a kiss on his chest. “That was…wonderful. How come you never told me you’re like a god in bed?”
He laughed and kissed her forehead. “And at what point should I have divulged that information to you?”
She grinned and shrugged a shoulder. “Right after ‘I’m Mr. Giles, the librarian’ would’ve worked.”
He rolled his eyes playfully and shifted until he was on his back, wrapping his arm around her as she laid her head on his chest. “Yes, I’m sure that would’ve worked out well for all involved.”
“Probably not.” She agreed before lifting her head and smiling brightly at him. “How long before gods are ready for a second round?”
He raised an eyebrow. “How long before Slayers are ready?”
“Give me ten?”
He chuckled and pulled her into another kiss.
They had made love all afternoon. After a short rest, she stated that she had to patrol. He smiled and climbed out of bed, reaching down to pull her up. He bent his head, kissing her tenderly before nudging her towards the direction of the shower. After an unsuccessful attempt at getting him to join her, she gave him a playful pout and padded into the small bathroom.
He smiled, pulling his robe on before heading downstairs to put something together for dinner before she left for patrol.
And now, here he sat waiting for her to return as promised. Exhaustion had been stalking him for a couple of hours. It seemed as though it had finally caught up to him.
Giles glanced at the clock and wearily rubbed his eyes. He closed the book he had been reading and placed it on the coffee table before standing. He looked longingly at the door and, with a heavy sigh, walked over to the desk and reached for a pen. He wrote a quick note, turned off all the lights except for the desk lamp, and made his way upstairs.
* * *
Buffy frowned when she walked up to Giles’ front door, seeing the lights off. She tried the knob, smiling when it turned easily in her hand. Noticing the desk lamp was on, she walked over and saw the note he had left for her. She chuckled softly at the simplicity of his words.
Please wake me when you arrive.
She debated on going straight upstairs, but then looked down at her dust-covered jeans. Deciding to take a quick shower, she shrugged her jacket off and hung it on the back of his desk chair.
* * *
She smiled down at him as she stood next to the bed watching him sleep. He was lying on his side, one arm flung over to the other side of the bed, his face nestled into the pillow that she had rested her head on after they had made love for hours that afternoon.
She carefully lifted the covers and slipped underneath, snuggling up to his chest and placing a soft kiss on his cheek. He mumbled incoherently in his sleep, automatically wrapping his arm around her.
Her hand gently rubbed his side and he inhaled deeply, his hand moving down her back until it rested on her hip. He opened his eyes slowly and smiled.
“Hey.” She whispered softly and raised an eyebrow. “You always sleep naked?”
He grinned sleepily and rubbed her hip. “I could ask you the same.”
She chuckled and slid her leg in between his. When his hand moved to brush through her hair, his brow furrowed. “Is it raining?”
His fingers curled a strand of hair. “Your hair’s wet.”
“Oh.” She smiled and slid her hand up his chest. “I took a shower. Busy night…I was filthy. I’m sorry I’m so late.”
His eyes focused on hers, his concern showing clearly. “Are you alright?”
Her eyes sparkled in the dim light. “You always worry about me.”
“Yes.” He whispered, leaning in to kiss her.
Her lips parted in an invitation for him to deepen the kiss. He gently rolled her onto her back, half-covering her body with his. When she felt him begin to harden against her thigh, she broke the kiss and smiled.
“You know…Faith was right about something.” She spoke quietly.
He arched an eyebrow, silently requesting her to finish the seemingly odd statement.
Her fingers combed through the hair above his ear. “After a hard night of slaying, I’m either really hungry or…really horny…”
A smile gleamed in his eyes. “I can heat up some leftover chicken, if you’d like.”
She licked her lips seductively, lowering her voice as her eyes drifted down his body. “Thinking I’m not hungry, Giles.”
He grinned and lowered his head, nuzzling against her neck before whispering huskily in her ear. “I’m pleased that you’re not hungry, but…I am. Please, Buffy…let me taste you.”
When she tensed slightly, he took her earlobe into his mouth, sucking gently before releasing it. “I promise, if you want me to stop, I will.”
She thought about it for a moment and then whispered against his cheek. “Okay…”
She felt his hard cock twitch against her thigh and she chuckled nervously. When he looked down at her with a questioning smile, she shook her head in mild amusement.
“It’s nothing, really.” When he raised an eyebrow, she bit her lip. “It’s just…I said ‘okay’ and…it just seemed to get a little excited…” She finished softly as she gestured vaguely.
He grinned and brushed his fingertips over her breast. “Ah…the, uh…twitch.”
She nodded as she closed her eyes, already losing track of what they were talking about as his hand moved down her body. “Mm-hm…”
He leaned down, placing a light kiss on her lips as he shifted his body to kneel between her thighs. “It’s a common reaction when I’m given permission to do something I dearly want.”
She expected him to dive right in, however he surprised her by taking his time. He slowly worked his way down her body, pausing to suckle each nipple into hardness. Giving each one a final tender kiss, he continued his slow assault, pressing hot open-mouthed kisses over her entire torso. He paid particular attention to her ribs, tracing each one with his tongue before moving further down and dipping into her navel.
When he gently nipped her hipbone, she groaned and ran her fingers through his hair. He smiled inwardly, pressing a tender kiss in the soft curls covering her mound. She held her breath in anticipation, only to be caught off-guard once more when she felt his lips on her inner thigh.
“Giles…” She whispered uncertainly.
He looked up at her flushed face and smiled. “This is how it should be.” He moved his head, trailing his tongue down the inside of her other thigh before meeting her eyes again. “It should be warm and wet before a tongue touches it.”
“It is…I am…” She panted breathlessly.
He inhaled deeply and licked his lips. “Are you?”
She registered the lust in the tone of his question and groaned softly. “God, yes…”
He settled himself between her thighs, using his thumbs to part her lips. “Let’s see, shall we?”
She gripped the sheet tightly when she felt his warm breath on her sensitive flesh. When she felt him lightly trace her folds with the tip of his tongue, she let go of the sheet and moved her hand to his head.
He murmured his appreciation against her skin, moving his tongue to circle her clitoris. Her hips bucked at the contact and he placed a loving kiss on the hardened nub. He moved his left hand to her hip and looked up at her. He watched her face carefully as he suddenly dipped his tongue inside of her.
Her fingers tightened in his hair and his name left her lips on a loud moan as he thrust his tongue in gentle strokes against her inner wall. He groaned against her as he felt her orgasm quickly building. He pulled back slightly, dragging his tongue flat against her until he reached her clit.
He gripped her hip tightly, covering the throbbing nub with his mouth. As he laved her clitoris with his tongue, her hips arched and she held his head tighter against her.
As her breathing became more laboured, her body began to tremble under his oral ministrations. Knowing she was very close, he moved his tongue and once more thrust deeply into her as he pressed his thumb against her clit.
She screamed his name as her orgasm crashed over her, flooding his mouth. His groan reverberated against her as he lapped her flowing juices. Another smaller orgasm hit and she gripped his shoulder, digging her nails into his skin. He licked as much of the fluid into his mouth as he could and then placed a tender kiss on the swollen flesh.
He pushed himself up and moved up to lie beside of her. She instantly wrapped her arms around him, kissing him passionately and groaning as she tasted herself. He slowly broke the kiss and rested his hand on her hip.
“Are you alright?” He whispered softly.
She laughed and traced his bottom lip with her thumb. “I’m so much better than alright. My God…”
He grinned and pulled her thumb into his mouth, licking the pad before releasing it. When she reached down to wrap her hand around his erection, he closed his eyes and sighed softly.
He moved over her and ran his hand down her thigh. As he opened his eyes, he caught a questioning look in her hazel eyes.
“What is it, Buffy?” When she looked unsure, he offered her a gentle smile. “You can ask me anything.”
She took a deep breath, releasing his cock and moving her hand to rest on his shoulder. “Are you, um…okay with other positions?”
When he tilted his head in a silent question, she blushed lightly. “It’s just…well…with Riley, it was always this.” She motioned towards their bodies, currently resting in the missionary position. “Once in a while, he was okay with me being on top, but…”
He furrowed his brow. “You’ve never really, um…experimented?”
She shook her head in an almost embarrassed fashion. He moved back to her side and gave her an understanding smile.
“What would you like to try, Buffy?”
Her blush deepened. “Is it stupid to say ‘I don’t know’?”
He shook his head, his heart filling with even more love for her. “No, love. It’s not stupid in the least.”
“Do you…you know…have a favourite position?” She asked timidly, briefly lowering her eyes in slight embarrassment.
“Mm-hm, several.” He caressed the side of her face and leaned in to kiss her. “We can try any position that interests you. If you find that it’s not enjoyable for you…we can change.”
She traced the shell of his ear with her finger. “Will you show me one of your favourites?”
He looked into her eyes for a moment before he kissed her, slipping his tongue into her mouth briefly before pulling back and nibbling at her bottom lip. With another lingering kiss on her lips, he smiled at her.
“Roll onto your stomach for me.”
Her eyes widened in alarm. “You’re not going to…to…uh…”
His voice was reassuring as he spoke. “No, darling. I wouldn’t do that to you…unless that’s what you wanted. And besides…I much prefer to be face to face for anal intercourse.”
Her brow furrowed in confusion. “How does that work?” She shook her head quickly. “Nevermind…I’m not sure I want to know. Right now, anyway.”
He arched an eyebrow, his interest showing clearing in his eyes. “Maybe one day I’ll show you.” His eyes sparkled as she blushed again. “Roll over. I promise this won’t hurt.” He placed a tender kiss on the side of her neck.
Feeling her apprehension, he looked into her eyes and smiled reassuringly. “I would never do anything to cause you pain, Buffy.”
She gave him a slow nod and rolled onto her stomach. He placed his hand between her shoulder blades and kissed her shoulder. He moved his mouth to her ear, whispering tenderly.
“All I need for you to do is relax.”
She nodded and then gasped softly when he began to trail his kisses down her spine. His hand gently kneaded the firm flesh of her ass before moving to her hip and squeezing gently. He nudged her legs apart with his knee and then knelt between her thighs. Placing both hands on her hips, he pulled her up slightly and slid a pillow underneath her.
He leaned over her back, cupping her breast in his hand. “Remember, if you don’t like this…all you have to do is say so.”
She whimpered in pleasure as he gently kneaded her breast. “Okay…” She said breathlessly.
He reached down and grasped his erection, sliding it through her wet folds before gently pushing into her. She groaned against the mattress and pushed her hips back against him. He rolled her hard nipple between his fingers and lowered his mouth to her neck.
“Oh my God…” She whimpered as he nibbled along her skin.
He lifted his mouth, rocking his hips gently against her. “Is this…alright for you?”
She covered his hand with hers, encouraging him to knead the flesh of her breast. “Yes…God, yes…”
“Tell me what you feel, Buffy…”
She moaned softly. “You…everywhere. I didn’t know…it could…”
He smiled as he bent his head, tenderly kissing the back of her shoulder. “Do you know why this is one of my favourite positions?”
She shook her head, unable to speak as he thrust deeper into her.
“I can surround you.” His tongue darted out and flicked against her skin. “I can touch every inch of you. And…when you come…” He moved his mouth to her ear, whispering huskily as he increased his pace slightly. “You’ll milk my cock dry…”
“Giles…” She called out breathlessly.
“There is one downside, however.” He licked his lips as she mumbled a ‘huh?’. “I can’t watch your face as you come. And I do enjoy watching you come. But the sensation of you clamping around my cock…Christ, you…”
When he trailed off, unable to form logical sentences, she felt his hot breath on her skin as he found a suitable rhythm…pushing, pulling in a way that suited them both. She reached over her shoulder, twining her fingers in his hair and pulling his mouth to her skin. She met each of his thrusts easily and begged him for more.
He bit down gently on her neck, holding the skin between his teeth as he sucked the tender flesh. He knew that he was marking her. He also knew that the mark would fade quickly. When he heard her groan his name, he pulled his mouth away and slid his hand from her breast to her hip.
“Oh, God…fuck me, Giles…please…”
He groaned in response and pushed himself up until he was kneeling behind her. He grasped both hips with his hands and plunged deeper into her warm depths. He pulled back and quickly slammed into her again, fucking her with long, hard strokes.
“Oh, Buffy…I love you…” His fingers tightened on her hips as he increased his pace.
The bed rocked with their movements, the headboard knocking against the wall with each thrust. Her fingers twisted in the sheets as she matched his furious pace.
“Giles! Oh, God…I…I’m…coming…”
Her name left his lips on a moan of delight as her fluids washed over him. His fingers threatened to bruise her skin, gripping her hips forcefully as he continued fucking her throughout her climax.
He was able to complete five long, hard thrusts before screaming her name and flooding her walls with his semen. He collapsed onto her back, whispering soft words of affection into her ear before gently moving to her side.
She fought to catch her breath, slowly moving her body until she was facing him. He lifted a trembling hand and brushed the hair back from her face. Seeing her hazel eyes begin to glisten, he pulled her into his arms.
“Oh, Buffy…I’m sorry. I…”
She shook her head when she heard the concern and worry in his voice, placing her hand on his chest. “No…not bad tears…”
He pulled back slightly to look into her face. “No?”
When she shook her head again, he lifted his hand to wipe away a tear that had rolled onto the bridge of her nose. “These are happy tears then?”
“Yes.” She leaned into him and kissed him. “Very happy.”
“Tell me what they mean.” He whispered softly, moving his hand back to her hip.
“I love you, Giles.” When she felt his hand tense on her skin, she quickly continued. “I wanted to tell you yesterday, but you stopped me. I would’ve meant it then, but…I didn’t think you would’ve believed me.” She stared into his eyes, pouring her love for him into her eyes. “Please believe me now”
“You love me?” He inhaled deeply, his eyes twinkling in the dim light. “As I love you?”
She grinned at him, nodding slowly. “Yeah. Just as you love me. All of those things you said to me yesterday…I feel them too. I love you.”
He looked into her eyes, searching for any shred of doubt. When he found only love and affection, he returned her grin. “I love you too.”
They shared a kiss, each of them pouring their love into the union. When breathing became an issue, they slowly broke apart. Giles rolled onto his back and drew Buffy to his side, smiling sleepily as she laid her head on his shoulder and draped her arm over his torso.
“Tired, darling?” He asked softly.
“Mm-hm. But…it’s a good tired. It’s a tired that I’ve never felt before.” She rubbed her cheek against his shoulder and sighed. “It’s nearly exhaustion.”
He chuckled softly, rubbing soothing circles across her back. “Then we rest.” He turned his head towards her and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. “And we’ll talk more in the morning.”
“Mm. Lots to talk about. Good thing it’s Saturday. No classes…don’t think I’d be up for class anyway…”
“Shh. Sleep, Buffy.” He whispered.
He took a deep breath, his heart feeling lighter now than it had in years, and closed his eyes.
She woke to him grumbling and untangling his arms and legs from hers. “What’s wrong?”
“Door.” He said in a grumpy tone and threw the blankets off his body.
She gave him an appreciative look-over as he stumbled to his dresser and pulled out a pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt. He cursed when the knock sounded again.
Quickly realizing that he wasn’t exactly a morning person, she held back her chuckle as he threw the clothes on. He looked back at her as he made his way to the stairs.
“Back in a minute.”
She grinned and snuggled into his pillow, laughing softly when she heard him mumbling under his breath as he stomped down the stairs.
As he reached the bottom of the stairs, the knock became more persistent. He grabbed the doorknob and swung the door open angrily, his eyes narrowing in frustration at the intrusion.
“What?” He asked sharply.
Clearly startled, Riley took a step back. “Sorry, Mr. Giles. I wasn’t sure if you were home.”
“Because if I weren’t home, I’d answer the door if you knocked louder?” He ran his hand through his sleep-tousled hair.
“Uh…no.” Riley took in Giles’ appearance and smiled apologetically. “Were you asleep?”
“Yes, actually.” When Riley glanced at his watch, Giles rolled his eyes, inwardly wishing he could look into the young man’s eyes and tell him exactly why he was still asleep at this time of day. Instead, he took a deep breath and stared at Riley. “I had a rather long night. What do you need?”
“Buffy.” He replied quickly.
Giles narrowed his eyes. “Excuse me?”
“I still haven’t been able to find her. I thought…maybe she might be here.” Riley looked over Giles’ shoulder and into the living room. “But, if you were asleep, she probably wouldn’t be.”
Giles sighed heavily. “She came by after patrol last night.”
“After…” Confusion shone in Riley’s eyes. “But, I was waiting at her dorm all night for her…”
“She, uh…she needed…well, wanted to talk.” Giles supplied quickly.
“Oh, did you tell her that I’ve been looking for her? Did she say why she broke up with me?”
Giles’ mind raced as he attempted to come up with some answers for the young man. When he opened his mouth to speak, a soft voice stopped him.
“It’s okay, Giles.”
Riley and Giles both looked towards the stairs to find Buffy slowly making her way downstairs. Riley glanced at Giles with a confused look on his face.
“Are there more rooms up there than just your bedroom?”
Giles reached for his glasses that weren’t there. “Well, there’s a bathroom.”
Riley’s eyes widened as his voice croaked in surprise. “She was in your bedroom?”
Giles walked into the living room and spared a quick glance at Buffy. “Well, it was late when she came by…”
Riley followed him in. “So, you slept on the couch?” He looked at the couch, which had obviously not been used as a bed recently, and shook his head. Realization dawned on his face as he looked back at Giles. “You didn’t sleep on the couch.”
Buffy took a deep breath and began to speak, a mildly nervous tone tinging her voice. “Riley…”
Riley spun towards Buffy, his eyes unable to hide his confusion and anger as he pointed towards Giles. “Tell me you didn’t fuck him!”
“I didn’t fuck him, Riley.” She said quietly.
Giles lowered his head slightly. Buffy glanced at him and, noticing his shoulders begin to slump, she took a deep breath.
“I made love with him.”
Giles’ head shot back up, his eyes instantly finding Buffy’s. She watched as the sadness faded from his eyes, being replaced with elation. His heart began to race as her smile shone in her eyes. Riley’s voice broke the moment.
“You…with him?” Riley shook his head in disbelief. “No, I don’t believe that for a second.”
Buffy narrowed her eyes and took a step forward. “You have the evidence…you jumped to the conclusion. And when I confirm your suspicions, you don’t believe it?”
Riley huffed and shook his head, glaring at her. “No. Not with him.”
Buffy crossed her arms over her chest, her eyes darkening with anger. “And why not with him?”
Giles sighed softly. “I would assume it would have to do with our age difference.”
Riley darted his eyes to Giles and clenched his fists, pulling himself up to his full height in a threatening manner. “Shut up!”
Anger sparked in Giles’ eyes. He straightened, his jaw clenching tightly as he glared at Riley. He held his tongue for a moment, waiting to see how far Riley was willing to go in this situation.
Riley turned until he was fully facing Giles. His voice rose, yelling as he pointed his finger at Giles. “What did you do? Force yourself on her? Hold her down and have your way with her?”
Giles’ eyes darkened, his rage barely contained. His voice was icy as he ground out his words. “I most certainly did not.”
Buffy stepped to Giles’ side quickly and glared at Riley. “Stop it now.”
“What am I supposed to think, Buffy?”
She looked at Riley with a mixture of guilt and anger, shaking her head slowly as she tried to find an answer for him. “I don’t know. I’m sorry you found out this way – ”
Riley interrupted her with an angry scoff. “How would you have liked me to find out? Walk in on the two of you?”
“No.” She sighed softly. “This is why I broke up with you, Riley. I was going to tell you the other day, but – ”
“And say what? ‘Oh, by the way, I’m cheating on you with my unemployed former librarian who’s old enough to be my father’?” Riley glanced at Giles and gritted his teeth. “He’s nothing. Couldn’t keep a job, now he can’t find a job. He’s pathetic.”
Giles still didn’t say anything, nor did he even move. He continued glaring at the younger man who seemed to be attempting to goad him into a fight. Buffy took a step forward and jabbed her index finger in Riley’s chest.
“He lost his job because he cared more about me than he did the Council. He hasn’t found a job because he isn’t looking. And…he was always so much more than a librarian.” Her hazel eyes blazed with fury. “And you will not speak to him, or about him, that way again…especially not in his own home. And as for him forcing himself on me…”
She placed her hand flat against Riley’s sternum and pushed with all her strength, sending him off-balance and crashing into the bookshelf behind him.
“I am the Slayer. If he had tried to force me, I could have stopped him.”
Riley groaned, rubbing his chest as he pushed himself off the floor. His eyes narrowed as he glared first at Buffy and then Giles. He ceased his yelling and smirked at Giles.
“Look at you, just standing there letting her defend you.”
Knowing the young man was trying to see how far he could push him, Giles remained silent and still. Riley’s next statement, however, pushed the wrong button.
“She opened her legs right up for you, didn’t she? One thing I can say…she’s a good fuck.”
Giles took two long strides towards Riley, grabbing his collar and throwing him against the bookshelf. He pressed his forearm against Riley’s throat and grinned dangerously.
“Say what you will about me. But do not let me hear you speak of Buffy in that manner again.” He leaned forward, staring into Riley’s widened eyes, and pressed him harder against the bookshelf. “Trust me, you will regret it.”
Seeing Riley’s face redden, Buffy ran over and put her hand on Giles’ back, feeling his muscles bunch and tense under her palm. “Giles, let him go.”
Giles stared into Riley’s eyes for a few more seconds and when he was assured that the message had been received, he released the younger man and took a step back. Riley coughed as air rushed back into his lungs.
“How…” He started as another coughing fit took control. He leaned over, resting his hands on his knees. “How long?”
Giles walked into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water from the refrigerator. Buffy sat on a stool in front of the breakfast bar and picked at a loose thread from the shirt she was wearing.
“Yesterday afternoon. After I broke up with you. I…I technically didn’t cheat on you, Riley.”
Giles silently handed the water to Riley and moved back into the archway, leaning against the cool stone. Riley straightened and took a deep drink. He swallowed and stared at the bottle in his hand.
“So while I was out looking for you…you were here…with him.” The anger in his voice was gone, replaced with resignation and defeat.
When Buffy didn’t answer him, Riley knew the answer. He gave a short nod. “And…how do you feel about him?”
Buffy took a deep breath, pulling the thread free. “I love him.”
Riley’s shoulders slumped, his anger forgotten. “I only wanted you to be happy, Buffy. I thought…I thought I made you happy.”
“You did. But, I just couldn’t love you.” She met his eyes and slid from the stool. She walked over to stand in front of him and gingerly placed her hand on his chest. “I’m sorry, Riley. I really did try.”
Riley looked down at her hand, shaking his head sadly as he took a step back, breaking the contact with her. His eyes glistened as he met her eyes again.
“Does he love you?”
“Yeah, he really does.” She smiled softly.
Riley lowered his eyes and exhaled deeply. “I…I didn’t mean what I said about you.”
“I know.” She glanced in Giles’ direction to find him still leaning against the archway, but also finding the rage in his eyes had disappeared. “Sometimes things are said badly in anger.”
Not knowing what else to say, Riley turned and walked towards the door. As he opened it, he turned his head and found Giles watching him. He gave the older man a nod and walked out the open door, closing it softly behind him.
Taking a deep breath, Giles pushed himself away from the wall and stood in front of Buffy. He lifted his hand and placed his palm against her cheek, looking into her eyes with complete devotion.
“Are you alright?”
She nodded and took a shaky breath. “Yeah, I just…I didn’t mean to hurt him.”
His thumb caressed her skin. “I know. However, sometimes pain is unavoidable when it comes to matters of the heart. Especially in situations such as this. There were no possible outcomes that didn’t involve someone’s heart breaking.”
“You thought it was going to be yours, didn’t you?” She asked softly.
He cleared his throat. “I must admit that for a moment, I was concerned.”
She placed her hand on his hip. “When I said that I didn’t fuck you?”
“Yes.” He whispered softly.
“I didn’t.” She wrapped her arms around him and laid her head against his chest, listening to his heartbeat. “It was so much more than that.”
He smiled and held her in his arms. “I agree. However…you were wrong about one thing.”
She tilted her head up and silently questioned him. His smile grew as he bent his head and moved his mouth towards hers, stopping a few millimetres from her lips.
“This home is not only mine.”
She smiled brightly. “I love you.”
“And I love you.” He whispered a split-second before closing the minute gap.
He kissed her slowly, building their passion. Just as he was getting ready to suggest they go back to bed, the door swung open and Xander, Willow, and Anya walked inside. Xander quickly slapped his hand over his eyes, Willow blushed heavily before smiling, while Anya grinned brightly and crossed her arms over her chest.
“See, I told you he had a new orgasm friend!” She announced brightly as she gestured towards the other two people standing beside her with a tilt of her head. “They didn’t believe me. But, you were just way too happy last night when I returned your book. The kind of happy that only comes from having lots of orgasms.”
Giles rolled his eyes, muttering his seemingly new favourite phrase. Buffy heard it and laughed, gently patting his chest.
“We’ll pick this up later, okay?”
He glanced down at his attire and sighed. “Yes, definitely. For now, I think I’ll go get dressed properly.”
Buffy gave him a smile full of love and watched him as he climbed the stairs, disappearing into the bedroom.
He grinned to himself as he listened to the whispered questions. He quickly changed his clothes and managed to make his hair look somewhat presentable. He grabbed his glasses and glanced at the bed before slowly turning and looking around the room. His smile broadened as a thought entered his mind.
He’d have to make room in his dresser drawers and closets.