Title: Fix You
Rating: FRM (light)
Timeline: S5, no Riley, no Glory.
Synopsis: A month after her mother’s death, Buffy realizes that the one person she needs is the one person she sent away.
Author’s Note: Album fic. Song and lyrics can be found here.
She had put their budding relationship on hold when her mother fell ill. And then, when Joyce had died, Buffy told him that she couldn’t do this…their relationship…because she loved him too much. But tonight, just a few hours ago, she had called him…and he had dropped everything to go to her, no questions asked.
And now he sat next to her, his body turned towards hers as she spoke hurriedly.
“I should let you go, because you deserve to be happy. But…I can’t…because I love you…”
“Buffy…” He whispered, raising his hand to wipe the tears from her face. “You make me happy. I wish I could make you understand.”
“I wanted Mom to not be in pain. I guess I got what I wanted, huh?” She sniffled and lowered her eyes.
“Oh, love.” He pulled her into his arms as she broke down again. “What I would give to fix this for you.”
He shifted into a more comfortable position, pulling her onto his lap as she curled against his chest. He lovingly rubbed her back as he placed a tender kiss on the top of her head.
“How long has it been since you’ve had a full night’s sleep?”
She shrugged her shoulders and he sighed.
“At Janice’s house.” She mumbled into the front of his shirt. “Make this go away.”
He closed his eyes, the pain in her voice tearing into his heart. He didn’t have to ask what she was talking about. She wanted the last year to start over…she wanted Dawn to just be her sister, she wanted her mother to be alive and healthy.
“I love you.” She whispered on a ragged breath. “I’m sorry I hurt you…I’m sorry I pushed you
“Shh. It’s okay. I understood then…and I understand now.” He tightened his arms around her and swallowed the lump in his throat. “And I love you. I love you so very much, Buffy.”
“Make this go away.” She repeated. “Just for a little while. Please…”
He was fairly certain what she was asking from him. But, he wasn’t going to go on his instincts this time…not when she was this vulnerable.
“What do you need from me, darling?” He whispered.
She hesitated for only a second and then lifted her head. She looked into his eyes and answered in a whisper of her own.
“I need you to love me.” She swallowed and bit her lip. “I…will you come upstairs with me?”
He gave her a slow nod and brushed his thumb through the wet path on her cheek. “Only if you promise me that if you change your mind, you’ll tell me.”
“I promise.” She whispered, leaning forward to kiss him.
Their kiss was slow and full of love for one another. He slid his left arm under her knees and leaned forward to stand. She refused to relinquish his lips as he carried her up the stairs to her bedroom.
* * *
Giles opened his eyes and furrowed his brow, momentarily confused. When he felt a warm body snuggle closer to him, his confusion faded. He remembered where he was, who he was with…what they had done.
He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. He turned his head to the left and squinted as he looked at the alarm clock. The red glowing digits told him that it was precisely 3:47 in the morning.
“Are you trying to figure out a way to get out of bed without me knowing?”
He chuckled softly and shook his head. “Well, that would be futile now, wouldn’t it?”
“Yeah.” She whispered softly and draped her arm over him as she dropped a soft kiss onto his chest. “Are you okay?”
He gently ran his fingers through her hair and sighed softly. “I’m fairly certain that was my line.”
“I wasn’t the one who panicked a little when they woke up.” She countered, offering him a small smile as his eyes darted to hers. “It’s okay…”
He licked his lips and stared into her eyes. “Please don’t ask me to leave again.”
“I know you’re hurting. I know you’re scared. And…I know that I can’t make everything right again, but…I want to try. I want to be here for you when…”
She cut him off with a kiss. As she shifted and felt his erection begin to reappear, she ended the kiss and took a deep breath.
“There are some things you can’t fix. But…you can fix me.”
A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. “Are you asking me to stay?”
“Yeah.” She gently ran her fingers through the hair on his chest. “The one thing that Mom wanted was for her daughters to be happy. And I can’t help Dawn be happy if I’m not.”
He slid his right hand to the small of her back. “What do you mean?”
“You make me happy, Giles.” She sighed as she laid back down beside of him, her head resting on his shoulder. “I miss her so much.”
“I know, love.”
“She loved you, you know.”
“Pardon?” He looked at her, his eyes wide.
“Not like that.” She laughed softly, allowing her hand to glide down his stomach. “She told me…a couple of days before she died…she said that she was happy for us. And that she thought you were good for me…and that she would be proud to have you as her…”
He raised an eyebrow as she cut her sentence short. “Have me as her what?”
He smiled as he carefully rolled her onto her back and pushed the sheet from her body. “I asked her, Buffy.”
“Asked her what?” She whispered, inhaling sharply as his fingers circled her nipple.
“For her blessing.” He watched her face for her reaction, smiling as she worked through the emotions and then settled on a smile.
As he lowered his mouth to hers, she felt the first piece of her broken heart snap back into place. It might take a while, but she was sure that if anyone could fix her, it was Rupert Giles.