Title: Viva La Vida
Timeline: S7, Buffy never slept with Spike…at all…at any time. Never. AU.
Synopsis: Buffy tells Giles the real reason she needs Spike in the battle against The First.
Author’s Note: Album fic. Song and lyrics can be found here.
Buffy was fuming. She had stormed out of the house…her house…and left behind her sister, her friends, nearly twenty potential Slayers, one full-strength Slayer, a Slayer’s son, and Giles. Giles…he was the one who had hurt her the most. He had just stood there and let them succeed in their mutiny.
All because of Spike. Because they thought that her feelings, nonexistent as they were, for him were clouding her judgement. Giles should’ve known better. He should’ve known that there were no feelings there for Spike. After everything she and Giles had been through, it shouldn’t even be a question.
But, it was. And he had asked her, point blank, if she was ‘seeing’ the vampire.
Tears streamed down her face as she took off on a run, her legs pumping as fast as they could as she ran through the streets of Sunnydale.
Giles should’ve known.
* * *
Giles had searched nearly the entire town for Buffy. Luckily, he hadn’t run into any of the Bringers. He hoped that Buffy had had the same luck in that area.
Almost as a last resort, he made his way back to the apartment that had once been his. Lifting his hand to knock on the door, his eyes narrowed as he heard a large crash from inside. Fearing for the safety of the new tenants of the flat, he grabbed the doorknob and pushed the door open. If he hadn’t been so worried, he would’ve been surprised over the fact that the door was unlocked and opened easily.
He ran inside and took immediate cover against the wall as a large mirror came hurling over the railing in the loft. He shielded his face and eyes as the mirror shattered on the floor, shards of glass ricocheting off the wall…and off of him.
And then he heard it. The achingly familiar, heart-wrenching sobs that could only belong to one person. Without a second thought, he turned and ran up the stairs…coming to a sudden halt when he caught sight of her, sitting on the bed with her head in her hands.
“Buffy?” He whispered, stepping further into the room.
He stopped when her head snapped up and she glared at him through tear-glazed eyes. “Go away!”
He looked at her for a moment and then shook his head sadly. “I’m sorry.”
“You’re sorry?” She wiped the back of her hand across her eyes and then glared at him. “For what? Throwing me out of my own home? Allowing them to fire me? Not believing in me? Or…hey, what about accusing me of fucking Spike?!”
His eyes dropped. “All of the above. And so much more.”
“You said you loved me.” She whispered, her emotional pain evident in her words.
He met her eyes again quickly. “I do love you, Buffy. I – ”
“And yet…” She interrupted him as she looked down at the bed she was sitting on.
“They kept the bed.” She mumbled under her breath.
His brow furrowed. “Pardon?”
“The people who moved in here when you left to go back to
He wanted to correct her. He didn’t see it as his bed. He saw it as their bed…had been since…
“We made love for the first time in this bed.” She whispered almost inaudibly.
Before he had a chance to respond, she exhaled a shaky breath and looked into his eyes. “Do you really think I’m fucking him?”
He swallowed and took a deep breath. “I think there’s an attachment there…one that I’m fairly certain is one of the most unhealthiest attachments you could have. And I’m even more certain that I don’t understand it.”
“I asked if you really think I’m fucking him.” She repeated bluntly.
“No.” He answered after a second. “I just don’t understand why – ”
“Are you fucking Rona? Or Kennedy? Or…Faith?”
Giles’ eyes widened. “What? No! Why would you – ”
“You have an attachment to each of them.” She interrupted with a calmness that nearly frightened him. “Apparently attachments mean sex these days.”
He opened his mouth and then closed it. He gave her a gentle nod of acknowledgement and sighed.
“I’m sorry, Buffy. Truly, I am. I never meant to hurt you. I just…why Spike?”
A single tear rolled down her still-damp cheek. “Because it can’t be you.”
“What?” His confusion shone in his eyes.
“The Champion? The Champion is going to die in this. Even if by some miracle we make it out of Sunnydale alive…the Champion will die. And that’s why it can’t be you. Because I can’t lose you.”
He closed his eyes as understanding finally hit him. She watched him as he lowered his head in an attempt to hide his tears from her.
“We’ll go back to the house…I’ll explain it to them and…” He met her eyes and shook his head. “We were wrong, Buffy.”
“I…I don’t think I want it back. Let Faith have it. I’ll help, but…let her have a turn at running the show. I think she needs to see it’s not as easy as she thinks it is.”
“But, you are the Slayer.”
She offered him a smile, one that didn’t quite reach her eyes, and shook her head. “So is she.”
He moved to kneel in front of her and looked into her eyes as he tenderly lifted his hand to her cheek. “She’s not you.”
Buffy swallowed hard. “I don’t want this anymore. Not like this…God, who the hell would want this?”
Giles didn’t have to ask her to explain herself. He understood her meaning far too well.
“I’m going to hold a meeting tonight…Spike can’t be there.”
She leaned into his hand as his palm cradled her cheek. “Giles…”
“They need to know the truth, Buffy. As much as they’d like to believe otherwise, I know that none of us will survive without you.” He whispered softly, leaning forward to brush his lips across hers. “I’m truly sorry for jumping to conclusions…for asking you something that should never have been asked. I know that you aren’t…that you haven’t…”
She lightly ran her fingertips down the side of his face as he trailed off. “Hold your meeting, but let them know that if Spike gets wind of this…they’ll learn the true meaning of ‘Slayer’. I am not going to lose you in this fight, Giles…not when we have a full future ahead of us.”
He tilted his head slightly and gazed into her eyes. “A full future?”
She nodded and then pulled him into a kiss. She quickly deepened it when he moved to sit next to her on the bed. As she pushed him onto his back and straddled his thighs, she decided she’d tell him later what she’d meant by having a ‘full future’ with him.
For now, she just needed…and wanted…to make love in their bed one last time. She had a feeling that the bed wouldn’t survive…even if they made it through the final battle. And if they did, by some miracle, make it through…she’d drop down to her knees in front of him and tell him her plans for the future.
And she hoped he’d say yes.