Title: God Put a Smile Upon Your Face
Timeline: A few years post-series.
Synopsis: Buffy and Giles realize that their relationship has become fairly complicated.
Author’s Note: Album fic. Song and lyrics can be found here.
“This…is getting complicated.” Buffy stated softly, pulling the sheet up over her nude body.
Giles rolled onto his back and wiped the sweat from his face. “I would have to agree.”
“I’ve had sex for the sake of having sex before…”
He chuckled softly and draped the blanket over his hips. She turned her head towards him and furrowed her brow.
“When did it stop being sex for the sake of having sex?”
His smile faded as he looked at her. “Probably when I realized that I was falling in love with you.”
“You know I’m feeling the same, right?” She questioned carefully.
He nodded, his voice lowering to a whisper. “I do.”
She blew out a heavy sigh and looked up at the ceiling. “So…where do we go now?”
“Your guess is as good as mine.” He answered, watching her fingers toy with the hem of the 3,000 thread count sheet. “I…wasn’t expecting this, Buffy.”
“I know.” She whispered, closing her eyes for a moment. “You deserve better than me.”
“Don’t say that.”
“I thought you didn’t want me to lie to you anymore?” She punctuated her question with a smile, hoping that he’d see the humour. When his eyes darkened slightly, she realized that he hadn’t. “After everything that I’ve done…”
“You’ve done no worse than I.” He interrupted her, rolling onto his side to face her. “Let’s not play this game, Buffy.”
“Do you believe in God?”
Giles arched an eyebrow, surprised at the sudden detour. “I…I believe in something. Whether it’s God or not, I don’t know.”
“When I was in Heaven…I didn’t meet God. I was told He was around, but He never graced me with His appearance. It made me wonder if He really existed. Maybe Heaven is just another dimension…like a demon one without all the death and destruction.”
“Perhaps.” He agreed softly. “I’m not sure I’m following you on this one…”
She shrugged a shoulder and bit her lip. “I’m not sure I’m following me. All I know is somehow we ended up in bed one night…and then we kinda kept it up, a comfort thing or whatever…and now…being at my own apartment feels wrong.”
“Wrong?” He asked, curling his right arm under his head as he looked at her.
“Yeah…like everything’s wrong if you’re not there.” She rolled onto her side to face him and copied his action of curling her left arm under her head. “And…if there is a God, then…He graced me with you. And I want to thank Him, but I don’t know how.”
“I think you just did.” Giles smiled warmly. “And, for the record, I’ve thanked Him...or something…every day since you walked into the library at Sunnydale High.”
She narrowed her eyes. “What for?”
“At first it was for your style and grace…”
She barked out a laugh. “My style? You hated my style.”
Grinning, he shook his head and reached out to brush a strand of hair back from her face. “Not ‘style’ as in fashion, Buffy. ‘Style’ as in…your essence, your being…you. Later it was for your smile…”
“Even when we were teasing you?”
He nodded, sliding his fingers down to the hem of the sheet covering her. “Even when you were teasing me.”
“Giles…” She started, pausing when he met her eyes. With a silent nod, she allowed him to continue.
“We crossed a line…time and time again. Our relationship was always balancing precariously between love and hate.”
“I never hated you!” She protested quickly.
“Oh, you have once or twice.” He argued, not bothering to elaborate on the instances of which he was speaking. “Each time I would admit my love for you to myself, one of us would do something to push us back over to the side of hate…or displeasure.”
“You hated me?” She whispered.
He sighed softly. “A couple of times, yes. Those emotions never lasted long, and…looking back on it, I think it was more of an issue of self-preservation than anything else.”
“I…don’t really understand…”
“If I hated you…then it didn’t hurt when you trampled all over me.” He offered her a gentle smile and stroked her cheek with his fingertips. “Like I said…those feelings never lasted long.”
“And now?” She prompted nervously.
He trailed his fingers over the swell of her breast, pushing the sheet down a few inches. “I’m fairly certain that just a little while ago I stated that I had fallen in love with you.”
“Yeah…you did.” She whispered, shivering as he uncovered her nipple.
“Well…that’s where I am now. Having casual sex, that isn’t as casual as either of us expected it to be, with a beautiful woman, who over the course of time, I fell in love with.” He swallowed, glancing at her nipple as it hardened under his touch. “And now, the house I live in seems so empty when you’re not here.”
She scooted closer to him, not bothered by the fact that her movement revealed her upper body to his wandering eyes. “So…where do we go from here?”
“I still don’t know.” He answered, sliding his hand down to her hip. “But, I do know where I’d like for it to go…eventually.”
Buffy bit her lip and carefully pushed the sheet and blanket from Giles’ body. “Maybe we could start by not pretending to have sex for the sake of having sex? You know…get rid of the complicated aspect of it and…just make love with each other.”
His eyes darkened a shade as his erection began to make a reappearance. “That would probably be a good place to start.”
He leaned into her, drawing her closer to him as he brushed his lips across hers. As her hand moved to the back of his head, holding him as she deepened the kiss, he felt a sense of relief over the fact that she hadn’t asked where he’d like for this to go eventually.
He wasn’t sure that he was ready to disclose that information. And he was even less sure that Buffy would be comfortable with the idea of spending the rest of her life with him.
It would probably be best if they took things one day at a time.
As they each pulled from the kiss simultaneously, they exchanged a smile…and then she rolled him onto his back.
One day at a time…
He closed his eyes as she straddled him and slid down onto his erection.
One day at a time was going to be harder than he thought. But…he’d try.