Title: Fractured

Author: Froxyn

Pairing: Buffy/Giles

Rating: FRAO

Synopsis: Giles is hurt. Buffy comforts him. But, it’s going to take him a while to recover from his emotional injuries.

Timeline: Sometime after S7. Anya didn’t die and Dawn doesn’t exist. Because that’s the way I like it.

Author’s Notes: This is a fairly dark fic. However, it does have a happy ending…basically because I’m physically unable to write a fic with an unhappy ending. This fic revolves around m/m rape and the emotional and physical wounds caused by the attack. This was a difficult fic for me to write because I honestly do not like to cause the characters such emotional pain. But, I couldn’t get the scene out of my head until it was in written form. I had three separate people look at this fic for me and I’d like to thank wyvernwolf , laurtew , and ladyforash for all of their comments and advice.

He stumbled through the front door, his battered body left with just enough strength to push the door closed behind him. He glanced down, his vision blurred by pain and the loss of his glasses. He could however, clearly see the deep and bloody gouges circling his wrists where he had been bound by thick leather straps.

His entire body screamed in agony as he shuffled towards the living room. With no warning, his legs gave out and sent his body crumpling to the floor. His energy spent, he closed his eyes and hoped that Buffy would be home soon.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

She walked through the front door with a smile on her face, shrugging her jacket off and hanging it up on the coat rack.

“Honey, I’m home!” She called cheerfully as she began walking towards the living room. “And it was a rough night. You know what they say about Slayers and a lot of fighting is...”

Her eyes found him lying on the living room floor, his shirt ripped and fresh blood staining his light blue denim jeans. “Giles!”

She rushed over to him, falling to her knees beside him. “Giles?”

Her panic eased minutely when she heard him softly groan her name.

“Oh God...Giles, what happened?” She carefully began to roll him over, pausing when he cried out in pain.

She gently laid him back in his previous position and reached for the phone.

“No.”

She looked down at him to find his eyes on her. “What?”

“No hospital.”

“Giles! You need a doctor!”

“Bruises. Nothing’s...broken. Just...” He clenched his eyes in obvious pain as he tried to push himself up. “Help me to the...couch?”

As she reached down to take his hand, she noticed his injured wrists. “What the hell happened, Giles?”

He swallowed nervously as his mind registered the panic in her whispered question. When he didn’t answer immediately, she glanced down at his bloody jeans and tears began to form in her eyes.

“Is...is that your blood?”

He closed his eyes as she carefully removed his tattered shirt. She gasped when her eyes fell on the distinctly human bite marks across his back.

“Oh my God.”

“Buffy...please...”

“Who did this to you?”

He took a deep breath, mustering his strength, and pushed himself up from the floor. He teetered slightly as he tried to maintain his balance. When she grabbed his arm to hold him steady, he reflexively pulled away from her.

“Don’t.”

The reaction and the tone of his voice, in addition to his injuries, took Buffy to another time. Another place. A time before Spike had his soul returned to him. A time when...

Her eyes widened.

“Giles...”

A tear formed in the corner of his left eye. “Please, Buffy...don’t. I...I just need a shower. Things will be better then...”

She reached her hand out to him. “Let me – ”

“No. I’m fine.”

He took a few steps towards the hall before his knees failed him. She was able to grab him before he hit the floor. It was at that time that he broke down, his anger and fear flooding over the walls he had hastily erected in his mind during the attack. She held him tightly as he buried his face in the crook of her neck and sobbed uncontrollably.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

After she had helped him cleanse his body of the dried blood, saliva, and other bodily fluids, she gave him a dose of Loritab and stayed with him until he fell asleep. Her own anger seethed within her, he had still refused to give her any details of what had happened. Though she was pretty much able to piece it together herself.

Going by his injuries alone, she could tell that he had been tied down. From the appearance of the wounds on his wrists, she could tell that he had struggled to get away. And the bites...not enough to break the skin, but just enough to mark him. And if that wasn’t bad enough, there was the blood.

She had wept when she helped him remove his jeans. The bruises on his hips from where he had been gripped were nothing compared to the still sticky blood trails that ran down the backs of his thighs.

It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what had happened to him. But he refused to say anything.

And now, she was sitting in front of a wide-eyed Willow, who had rushed over when Buffy had called after Giles had fallen asleep.

“He...he was...” Willow lowered her voice to a whisper. “...raped?”

Buffy wiped the back of her hand across her eyes as she nodded.

“Who – ”

“I don’t know. He...he won’t talk about it...at all.”

“Are you sure? I mean...maybe it was a demon...”

Buffy stared at her hands in her lap. “Human bite marks on his back.”

Willow paled. “Oh God...”

“Whoever did this...tied him down.” She looked up at her best friend, unable to stop the tears from flowing down her face. “They tied him down...and...”

Willow moved quickly, wrapping her arms around Buffy and holding her tightly as she broke down.

* * *

The medication eased his pain and even helped him sleep. The trouble was they didn’t stop the dreams. Even worse, they didn’t stop his mind from knowing what was a dream and what was a reliving of a true nightmare.

He tasted the blood in his mouth, his lip split and bleeding from the fist that had punched him repeatedly. He felt the sting of his sweat filling the open wounds on his face. His body trembled when he felt the fear welling within him.

The fear of not knowing what was happening or why. The fear of not being able to get back to Buffy. The fear of being at the mercy of this person who obviously intended to cause him pain. He thought back to a time, years ago, when he was bound helplessly to a chair at the hands of Angelus. But this…this was different. And as his fear turned to panic, he heard it.

He heard the laughter. He heard the mocking words spoken into his ear. He opened his eyes, his vision blurred from pain and the lack of his glasses.

“Why? Why are you doing this?”

A cold chuckle sounded immediately before the reply was given.

“Why not?”

A leather gag was held in front of him and then dropped to the floor.

“Don’t think I’ll use this. I’d much prefer to hear your screams. I wonder…will you beg me to stop?”

Giles raised his shaking hand and wiped the blood from his mouth. “Would it work? Would you stop this now if I beg?”

His abductor grinned viciously. “No. But, it would make it more exciting.”

He felt the leather being wrapped around his wrists roughly and then watched helplessly as the perpetrator secured the leather strap, preventing any chance of escape. He felt the chill race down his back as the voice growled that if he didn’t quit struggling, Buffy would suffer the same fate...only she wouldn’t live to tell about it.

And so, he ceased his struggles.

And then the biting started. When his body didn’t respond in the way that his attacker had imagined, the bites became harder. He could feel the rage rolling off the man kneeling behind him.

He could hear himself pleading with him to think about what he was doing.

He could feel the hot breath on his neck as the man leaned over him and growled into his ear. “Should’ve thought about what you were doing when you handed me over for government testing.”

When he felt the hard cock ram into his ass, he screamed and sat straight up in the bed. He raised a shaking hand and wiped the sweat and tears from his eyes.

* * *

Hearing him scream, Buffy pulled out of Willow’s embrace and raced down the hall. She opened the bedroom door to find him curled up on the edge of the bed with his back to her, his body trembling violently and coated in sweat.

“Giles...” She tried to inject as much calmness into her voice as possible.

He flinched when she touched his shoulder. “I’m...you shouldn’t touch me.”

She climbed onto the bed behind him, placing a tender kiss on the back of his shoulder as she pulled him into her arms. He tensed immediately and tried to pull away. She held him tighter, her tears mixing with the sweat on his back.

“I love you, Giles.”

He relaxed for a brief moment, then pulled out of her arms and slid off the bed. He paced slowly, wincing in pain.

“No. You can’t. Not after...” He shook his head in defeat.

She sat on the edge of the bed and sighed softly. “I do. Especially after. Please...talk to me.”

He continued to pace, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand. “There’s nothing to...”

She interrupted him softly, standing in front of him and effectively stopping his movement. “There is something to say. I want to help you, Giles. But how can I if you won’t tell me what...”

“You already know.”

“I know what my conclusions are, I don’t...”

Anger sparked in his green irises. “What...you want to hear how he tied me down and threatened to kill you if I kept struggling? You want to hear how he fucked me until I bled? You want to hear how he kept fucking me until I couldn’t scream? You want to hear how he shoved his blood-covered cock in my mouth when he came? Is that what you want to hear?”

He moved away from her, sinking down onto the mattress and covering his face with his trembling hands. She slowly moved until she was standing in front of him and gently touched the side of his face.

He jerked back violently, dropping his hands and clenching them into fists. “Don’t fucking touch me!”

Buffy pulled her hand back quickly, mildly shocked by his outburst. Her tears streamed down her face as she reached out again and stroked his hair. He looked up at her and slowly shook his head.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean...I didn’t mean to yell at you.”

She ran her fingers through his hair, her fingertips lightly massaging his scalp. “It’s okay, Giles.”

“It’s...not.” His shoulders slumped. “He knew.”

She leaned down and tenderly kissed his forehead. “Who knew what?”

“He knew...how to break me.”

“You’re not broken.” She whispered softly, gently urging him to lie down. “You’ve been hurt and...I know you’re scared...but, you’re not broken.”

“You...you can’t stay with me. He knew that too. Even told me how you’d only look at me with pity.” He raised his watery eyes to hers. “And...you are.”

“Giles, this is not pity. This is concern and fear and pain and frustration and...most of all, love. I don’t do pity, you know that.” She took a deep breath and lay down beside of him. “And I have no intention of leaving you.”

“Buffy...”

“Who did this to you, Giles?” She whispered softly.

He was quiet for what seemed an eternity. When he spoke, the name he uttered was barely audible. But Buffy heard it with perfect clarity.

She stared into his eyes, barely able to control her rage. “Ethan did this?”

“I...I think maybe I did the wrong thing by handing him over...to the Initiative.”

“You didn’t. Riley took him.” Buffy protested quickly.

“I didn’t do anything to stop it. And, it seems as though he blames me. And...only me.”

“And that gives him the right to...”

“He’s been watching me. Us. I’m not sure for how long.”

“I am so going to...”

Giles eyes widened in panic. “You’re not to go after him, Buffy. Please. He’ll kill you...after he’s done worse things to you.”

“Not if I kill him first.”

“Buffy...”

“I’m a Slayer, for a long time I was the Slayer. It’s kinda in my job description.”

“Demons. Not humans.”

She stared at him before shaking her head slowly. “What he did to you is not a human thing to do. It’s an evil, needs to die, thing to do.”

“I’ll lose you. If I haven’t already, I will.”

“I’m not going anywhere, Giles.”

“No.” His eyes filled with tears once again. “I’ll lose you. The essence that makes you who you are. You’re not a killer, Buffy.”

“Am I just supposed to stand here and watch? I’m not supposed to do anything? He could’ve killed you and then what would I have done?”

“He didn’t want me dead. He wanted power over me. And...he accomplished that.”

Her eyes softened at the defeated tone of his voice. “Is...is that what he did to you? What you said earlier?”

He looked away from her, a single tear rolling down his cheek as he nodded slowly.

“We’ll work through it. I’m not leaving you, Giles.”

“I...”

He jumped as a light knock sounded on the door. Buffy laid her hand on his chest, rubbing his skin soothingly.

“It’s okay. It’s Willow. She came over while you were asleep.” She smiled as he gave a gentle nod, raising her voice enough to be heard through the door. “Yeah, Will?”

“Um...I was just going to say goodbye.” She hesitated for a second, gathering her thoughts. “Giles, if you’re awake...”

Giles took a deep breath and lightly squeezed Buffy’s hand, before clearing his throat. “Give me just a second?”

“Oh, you’re awake. Okay. Um...”

With Buffy’s help, Giles climbed out of bed and pulled a t-shirt over his head. He tightened the drawstring on his sweatpants as Buffy walked to the door. As Buffy opened the door and Willow came into sight, Giles took a tentative step forward.

“I, uh...I apologize for my attire.”

Willow’s eyes were bright with unshed tears. “I think you look wonderful.”

Giles swallowed and averted his eyes. “I...I suppose that Buffy told you...well, what she suspected...”

“Are you okay?” When Giles continued to stare out the window, Willow sighed. “Stupid question. I’m sorry.”

“No.” Giles responded quietly. “I’m not alright.”

“Will you be alright?”

Buffy held her breath as she waited for Giles’ answer.

“The, uh...the physical wounds...should heal fairly quickly.” He lifted his arms slightly and looked down at them. “I...might have some scarring on my wrists.”

Willow lifted her hand and brushed a tear from her eye. “And...emotionally?”

He ran a hand through his hair and shrugged his shoulders. “Eventually, I...” He turned suddenly and stared into Buffy’s eyes. “Please...stay with me.”

She exhaled slowly and walked over to him, carefully sliding her arms around him and resting her head against his chest. “Leaving never entered my mind.”

“This...this will not be a smooth ride, Buffy. And...I don’t know when I’ll, uh...”

She raised her head and met his nervous gaze. “Sex doesn’t define us, Giles. That’s not why I’m living with you...and it’s not the reason I’m in love with you.” She reached up and brushed her thumb across his damp cheek. “Let me help you.”

“Us. Let us help you.” Willow corrected softly.

“I...I’m not sure I can...that is...”

Buffy narrowed her eyes in concern when she felt his heart began to race. “Giles, what is it?”

“I don’t want...people...our friends...I don’t want them to know...”

Buffy glanced at Willow, who gave her a quick nod, before offering him a gentle smile. “Then we don’t tell them. We’ll work through this together. No matter how long it takes, okay?”

“I’m tired...very tired.”

Buffy led him back over to the bed. “Do you need anything for pain?”

He shook his head and slid under the covers. “I...can’t control my dreams with the painkillers. I need to be able to...wake myself up...”

Willow walked over, leaning down to give him a hug. When he flinched, she stood back up quickly. “I’m sorry, Giles. Um...I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

He nodded slowly and shifted his body towards the protective warmth of Buffy. Willow gave Buffy a sad smile and they said their goodnights. When she heard the front door close, Buffy moved closer to Giles.

“Are you okay if I hold you?” She whispered softly.

“I think so.”

She lovingly wrapped her arms around him, pressing her chest against his back as she held him. He tensed for a moment, slowly relaxing as she kissed his shoulder and whispered soft words of encouragement.

Knowing, even through his fear, that he was safe in her arms, sleep eventually found him. Buffy, on the other hand, stayed awake all night...cradling her lover in her arms and whispering to him as the nightmares came and went.

Chapter Two

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