Title: Forcing His Hand
Author: Froxyn
Pairing: Buffy/Giles
Rating: FRM
Timeline: Sometime in S5. Riley is a non-issue.
Joyce’s health is fine. Who’s Dawn?
Synopsis: Giles is having nightmares…is his
subconscious trying to tell him something?
Notes: Special thanks to wyvernwolf for taking the time to beta this for me.
Giles sat up straight in bed. His body was covered in
sweat, his heart was pounding and his throat was throbbing with pain from the
scream that had ripped through it.
He ran a trembling hand through sweat-drenched hair
and took a deep breath. He wiped the moisture from his face, not surprised when
he couldn’t tell if it was sweat or tears. He glanced at his bedside table,
sighing when the clock told him that it was two forty-seven in the morning.
Knowing that sleep would not find him again, he
climbed out of bed and stood in the middle of his bedroom. His eyes darted
between the bathroom door and the stairs leading from the loft. What he wanted
was a nice cup of hot tea. He decided though that a shower would probably be
best at the moment. His skin was hot and damp…he felt utterly disgusting.
With another sigh, he stumbled into the bathroom.
Perhaps a shower might wash away the memories of his nightmare as well as the sweat
and tears.
* * *
An hour later, he was sitting on his couch with a
steaming mug of tea in his hands. He was staring across the room, his eyes
unfocused. He absently lifted the mug to his lips, carefully taking a sip.
The nightmares had been plaguing him for four nights
now. The actual events of the dreams were different each night. However, the
outcome was always the same. He swallowed with difficulty as his eyes began to
glisten.
Each dream ended with Buffy’s death.
She would fall at the hands of whatever foe she was
fighting. And Giles was always there, but unable to help her, protect her…save
her.
Night after night, he watched her crumple to the
ground. Night after night, he ran to her and pulled her lifeless body into his
arms. And night after night, he sobbed uncontrollably as he held her warm body
close to his chest, whispering his declarations of love to her as
The first night had been a vampire draining the life
from her. The second had been torture at the hands of Angelus and Faith. The
third had been Adam ripping her still-beating heart from her chest. The fourth
had been more disturbing than the previous three.
A spectacular swan dive from the top of what seemed to
be a poorly constructed tower.
He had watched helplessly from the ground, screaming
at her not to jump. He paid no attention to the dragon flying overhead that had
entered their airspace from a strange rip in the sky. His heart seemed to stop
beating as she launched herself from the tower.
He screamed the entire time he watched her body fall.
She landed on a pile of debris and, although there were no obvious external
injuries, as he ran to her he knew that she was gone. And for the fourth night
in a row, he held her in his arms and cried. His tears fell onto her face as he
stroked her hair, begging her not to leave him. Begging her to come back to him
and love him. And then he was apologizing for not telling her exactly how much
he loved her.
Now he sat on his couch, drinking tea at four in the
morning…alone. He ran his hand over his face and closed his eyes against the
pain he felt in his heart. This latest nightmare was different than the ones
prior. The first three he could almost understand.
She fought vampires nearly every night. From day one,
it had been his fear that he’d lose her to one. Angelus and Faith…that stemmed
from the ruse he had agreed to help Buffy with in order to learn more about
Mayor Wilkins. Adam…they had nearly been pulled apart by him. Adam and Spike
had been able to alienate Buffy from him, as well as Xander and Willow.
But this one…a tower. He shook his head in
frustration. They had never encountered a tower. And there had never been
dragons and more otherworldly creatures flying over their heads.
It disturbed him greatly.
He groaned as he took a sip of his now cold tea. He
placed the mug on the coffee table and stood, making his way to the bookshelves
lining the wall. His fingers trembled as he reached for the Codex.
He prayed he would find nothing in the text.
He also knew that he was going to have to let her in
on the emotions he was experiencing. And, that scared him almost as much as the
Codex.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Giles looked up in surprise as the front door opened
and Buffy walked in. He glanced at the clock quickly to find it was ten minutes
past ten. He closed the book in front of him and offered her a weary smile. He
had found nothing in the Codex and had progressed to books concerning dream
analysis. But, he hadn’t had any luck yet.
“Buffy, good morning.”
She narrowed her eyes and dropped her bag onto the
floor. “Jeez, Giles…you look like hell.”
He chuckled softly and gave her a nod. “I slept rather
poorly last night.”
“You okay? You’re not getting sick, are you?” She
walked over to him and gently pressed the back of her hand against his
forehead. “You don’t seem to be running a fever…”
He fought the urge to lean into her touch. Instead, he
stood and shook his head. “I’m not getting sick, Buffy. Though, I do appreciate
your concern.”
She smiled warmly and touched his forearm as she
looked up at him. “Of course, I’m concerned. You’re my Giles.”
He cleared his throat and moved away from her. “Yes,
well…um…training today, yes?”
She hopped up on the table and swung her legs. “That
was the plan. But, if you’re not feeling up to it…”
“No, no. I’m fine, Buffy. I’m just a little tired.
Maybe we could go for a run down to Miller’s Woods?”
She watched him carefully, noticing that his movements
seemed to be very heavy. “Or…maybe we can do some research on that Kibosh demon
I came across the other night.”
“Kabuscht.” He corrected automatically.
“Yeah, that one. I can call Willow and see if she can
help us.”
Giles thought about it for a moment and then nodded in
agreement. “Very well.”
She smiled brightly and slid off the table. As she
walked over to the phone, he picked up the book on dream analysis and returned
it to the bookshelf. If she happened to pick it up and look at it, it would
just cause too many questions that he wasn’t sure how to answer.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Two hours after Willow had arrived and they had
started delving into the books, Buffy felt Willow kick her leg lightly. She
looked up and met her friend’s eyes. Willow tilted her head in Giles’
direction. Buffy sighed as she looked over to find that he had dozed off, his
head resting against his palm.
“He said he didn’t sleep well last night.” Buffy
whispered softly.
“I’d guess more than just last night. He looks
exhausted.” Willow replied in a hushed tone.
Buffy nodded in agreement and quietly pushed her chair
back and stood up. She walked around the table and placed her hand on his
shoulder.
“Giles?”
“Mm?” He mumbled.
“Come on, let’s get you into bed.” She moved her hand
to his back and rubbed a gentle circle across his spine.
His eyes snapped open and he sat up suddenly, turning
his head towards her. “I’m sorry?”
She offered him a gentle smile. “You’re exhausted,
Giles. You need to get some sleep.”
He blushed lightly, realizing that he had fallen
asleep while reading. “No, I’m…I’m fine.”
Seeing the disbelieving look on Buffy’s face, he
sighed heavily. “Yes, I’m tired. But…we need to find out why the Kabuscht is in
Sunnydale and – ”
Buffy smiled and shook her head. “Willow and I can
still research. You need rest, Giles.”
He glanced at Willow, who nodded in agreement. He ran
his hand through his hair and looked at the stairs. He yawned widely and
motioned towards the couch. “Perhaps I can take a short nap on the sofa.”
“Your bed would be more comfortable.” Buffy offered
quietly.
“Yes, however…” He exhaled deeply and looked into her
eyes. “I’m not sure I feel up to climbing the stairs, to be quiet honest.”
Buffy nodded in understanding. “The couch may not be
as comfortable, but at least you can get horizontal on it.”
He chuckled wearily and stood. “If you find anything,
please…”
“Wake you up.” She finished for him with a smile. “I
will. Now, go…” She gently pushed him towards the couch. “Get some rest.”
He nodded slowly and sank onto the couch, pulling down
the afghan that was draped over the back. He covered himself and closed his
eyes. He shifted once to make himself more comfortable and then quickly fell
asleep.
Willow and Buffy shared a smile and then went back to
the books lying open across the table.